


Re-hate-tionship

by MsMK



Series: Re-Hate [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Body Dysphoria, Eating Disorders, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Hate Sex, My Swapfell boys, Reader and Mutt are very mean to each other, Seriously they are both assholes, Smut, Swapfell Papyrus (Undertale), Swapfell Sans (Undertale), Unhealthy Relationships, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:35:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26433520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsMK/pseuds/MsMK
Summary: You and Black made friends a long time ago, and your friendship is awesome!Unfortunately for you, being friends with Black also means being around his older brother, Mutt, and the two of you have simply NEVER gotten along. In fact, you'd say you hate each other.One day, he takes his insults into a sensitive territory, and it hurts a bit more than expected. In the process of somewhat apologizing, he makes an offer that maybe you might have to think about.
Relationships: Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Platonic SF!Sans & Reader, SF!Papyrus/Reader
Series: Re-Hate [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1964710
Comments: 159
Kudos: 330





	1. He's Had Worse Ideas

**Author's Note:**

> This was a one-off drabble on my blog, but it was enjoyed so much, and it was so different from what I've done before, I had to make it a story. It probably won't be too long, maybe 5-ish chapters? Who knows.  
> Enjoy, and mind the tags! The characters are VERY mean to each other!

You met Black at exactly Ass o'Clock in the morning, serving him coffee at the coffee shop you worked at, and somehow, despite his permanent scowl, he was more chipper than you would ever be.

He returned every morning, insisting that you be the one to make his coffee, though how anyone can fuck up black coffee with room for cream was beyond you. Eventually, after a few months, you realized that he meant that he found _you_ to be the only tolerable person there, and didn't like ordering from anyone else. Eventually he asked you out, rather bluntly, and you agreed.

The date was awful. There was no chemistry whatsoever between the two of you and it was awkward at best. The talking was fine, great, you had a lot in common and got along famously--but anything even remotely resembling romance was, well, weird and uncomfortable. However, at the end of the night, he could only laugh. It felt a little weird, seeing that sharp scowl lift into a smile and a laugh, but you couldn't argue with his sentiment that it was funny.

"WELL, SINCE THAT WAS A BUST, I GUESS THERE'S NO REASON WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS."

And so, you became friends, best friends, and he became a part of your life forever.

* * *

Was it bad, how much you hated Mutt? Was it wrong of you, as Black’s best friend, to so completely despise his shit-talking older brother?

It can’t be wrong, you reason, because he hates you just as much. He makes snide remarks at you, about your clothes, your hair, your anything really as long as it’s something to pick at. He mocks you when you’re trying to be serious, he pulls faces at the back of your head when he thinks you aren’t looking, and you’re pretty sure you could draw his middle finger from memory.

So, a mutual hate. A re-hate-tionship, if you will. You said that once, and he laughed, and then he looked so upset with himself for at least three days. Black has begged you both to get along, but honestly he’s given up at this point–-as long as nobody is throwing anything he lets you dance your dance of disapproval.

You’d asked him once, what you ever did to him, and he replied that you were a human of unknown intentions hanging around his brother…and you assumed that your retaliation had lit the flames to you being a bitch, which fed the hate. It isn’t like you didn’t try to be civil (okay it was rare but sometimes you tried) but it’s hard to stay nice when three seconds after entering the house you’re being insulted.

Today was no different, of course, you weren’t sure what you’d expected when you’d come over for dinner. He hurled his usual insults at you, but this time he somehow hit a sensitive spot.

“why the fuck’re we feeding you, too, again? honestly you could probably fit t'skip a meal, flesh-bag.”

You stiffened immediately, and Black noticed. His face was full of fury, ready to tell Mutt off, but he didn’t say anything when you sharply shook your head.

But it was too late, he’d noticed your lack of response. He didn’t make another stab at your weight, at least not right away, but he smirked like he’d won something as you stabbed at your salad, perforating it over and over but ultimately pushing it away.

You weren’t very hungry anymore.

It was halfway through the night, the movie still barely ramping up through the action, when he broke from his usual game of begrudging silence to take another crack at you.

“yer movie picker is shit,” he said simply.

“It’s a classic, everybody likes this movie,” you huffed. “At least, anyone who isn’t a complete degenerate. Guess I can’t expect you to have any sort of taste, not like me and Black.”

That earned a snicker from Black, almost a stamp of approval, and Mutt scowled. You only smiled back sweetly.

“i dunno if you can talk ‘bout taste, do y'even taste the snacks you shove in yer face? or are y'just hooverin’ them down?”

You pressed your lips into a thin line of displeasure, your free hand not holding the popcorn moving to Black’s knee, squeezing as you felt him tense beside you. You don’t respond, glaring at the TV in front of you, but you do put the popcorn aside, instead crossing your arms and wholly ignoring his presence.

It’s fine. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t been horrible to him on other nights. You insulted him just as much for things he might be sensitive about–his scars, his golden tooth, other appearance based insults you’d be ashamed to repeat to your mother. Maybe if he didn’t get a reaction, he’d poke at something else and leave your eating habits alone.

At the very least his little victory kept him in smug silence until the credits rolled.

“PERHAPS WE SHOULD SEND THE LEFTOVERS HOME WITH YOU, MY DEAR,” Black said, bundling the last of it into a Tupperware. “DON’T THINK I DIDN’T NOTICE YOUR LACK OF APPETITE TONIGHT.”

“M'fine,” you said, waving away his thinly veiled concern. “You guys keep it.”

“a shocking twist of generosity,” Mutt added in a bored tone from the living room.

“I’m sorry, did I ask you? Or in some way imply that I was talking to you at all?” You huffed, glaring at him as Black rolled his eyelights, packing the Tupperware into your bag. “You know, you’d be a lot more fun to be around if you didn’t spend every waking moment being an asshole.”

“i don’t spend _every_ moment being an asshole,” he chuckled, leaning over the half-wall that separated the kitchen and the living room. “it’s somethin’ i can turn off, so if that’s my worst trait at least m'pretty.”

“Gag me,” you spat.

“now _there’s_ an image.”

“Ew!” You scoffed, turning away from him to look at Black with exasperation.

“it’s a date, then?” He laughed.

You looked back at him, horrified. “No, no, not a date, definitely not a fucking date. If you think you’re coming anywhere close to my mouth with any filthy fucking part of your body–”

“what, i thought you liked a little sausage?” He practically purred. “y'certainly _eat_ like ya’d suck a mean dick.”

“MUTT! THAT IS ENOUGH!” Black said swiftly, but the damage was done.

It seemed he had found his new Favorite Thing to poke at about you. The unbothered look on his face as Black raised his voice at him was enough to make that blindingly clear, and you set your jaw, fists clenching as you glared at him.

“I eat like everybody else!” You said finally, hands shaking in your rage. “I’m _not_ fat!”

“OF COURSE, HE DIDN’T MEAN IT THAT WAY–” Black tried, and you shook his hand off your arm.

“He _did_ mean it that way!” You flipped Mutt off, with gusto. “ _Fuck_ you, and that _isn’t_ an invitation.”

With that, you took off, storming out and onto the terrace. You would have left completely but your stuff wasn’t all together yet and you didn’t fancy coming back for it in twenty minutes. You slammed the sliding glass door as good as you could and dragged a deck chair to the edge of the balcony, plopping down and leaning on your crossed arms, staring down into the trees and foliage behind the building.

You could hear Black blowing up on Mutt inside, though the soundproofing was good enough that you couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying, only the tone of it. He knows all about your history with your eating disorder, you’d broken down and cried to him after he’d asked you one too many times if you’d gotten enough to eat.

You understand that underground, resources were scarce, and that’s why he always makes sure you’ve eaten enough. He’s been good about his wording since then, carefully asking if you have everything you need, with heavy implications that he means food. It’s worked thus far, and sending leftovers home was kind of his way of saying he loved you.

You assume, then, as you calmed down a bit, that Mutt really meant no offense when he said you eat well. It was probably a _compliment_ , even, as veiled as it was. And it wasn’t like you’d ever opened up to him about your strained relationship with food and your weight, hell, you'd never opened up to Mutt about anything at all. He probably thought it was funny that a small compliment made you clam up in a way his insults never had.

The door slid open behind you and you sighed, closing your eyes. “It’s fine, Black, I’ll get over it.”

“good, here i thought i’d hafta apologize.”

You huffed and turned a glare on Mutt as he closed the door behind him. That was not your best friend as you had expected. “What, did he make you come out here to say sorry? Well, you can save it, I don’t take insincere apologies.”

“actually, he told me he’s fed up with how i treat you and that he didn’t want to see me within a mile of ya again.” Mutt pulled up the second terrace chair and took a seat. “but i don’t think i can do that.”

“What, come to make fun of me, then?” You hissed, leaning back and glaring over at him. “Maybe call me names? Make pig noises?”

“i wouldn’t do that,” he said, seriously. “i pick my words pretty carefully, you know, if i’d'a known you had a thing about food i woulda picked 'em even more carefully.”

“Since when do _you_ give a shit about my feelings?”

“always,” he said, and you snorted, disbelieving. “we may not get along, but yer important t'sans, that makes you important t'me. an’ you ain’t nothin’ but beautiful, so i guess i didn’t think that you’d take it as me callin’ you fat.”

“First you insult me, and now you lie to me.” You stood up, and he looked right up at you as you loomed over him the best you could. “Anything else? Maybe poke fun at my dead mom, or fake-ask-me-out?”

“why would anyone fake asking someone out?” He asked, genuinely surprised. “i’m a mean bitch at heart, so is sans, but we’d never do that.”

You huffed. “Well then congrats, you’re better than the kids I went to school with. Barely.”

He hummed thoughtful and you were about to turn and leave him behind–

“wanna fuck?”

Slowly, you turned around, looking at him in disbelief. “I’m sorry?”

“i said,” he stood, crowding you against the balcony fencing, his hands on either side of you. “wanna fuck? you an’ i might not get along, but you’re fine as fuck, i’m not so bad, and i gotta bed we can work out our aggressions on. so, wanna fuck?”

You inhaled, hands on his chest and ready to push him away…but you’re due for some stress relief and if anything you can trust him not to get attached, and despite being the opposite of friends you trust he’d never do anything to hurt you, if only for his brother’s sake.

“You know what?” You breathed, straightening your posture. Your hands went from pushing to gripping his shirt. “Yeah. Let’s fuck. You’ve had worse ideas.”


	2. Another Stellar Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've been secretly blowing off steam with Mutt for a few months now, and honestly it isn't terrible. Then he has another brilliant idea...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a followup I wrote when I saw how excited people were for this! I hope I'm capturing the hate sex aspect of this.
> 
> Smut: Hate sex, fingering, p in v, rough sex, biting, scratching, fuckbuddies

"God, you're disgusting."

Mutt shrugged, continuing to drink directly from the barbeque sauce bottle as you made a gagging noise. Black chuckled from where he sat at the table balancing his books, but ultimately said nothing.

"at least i don't eat pickled plums," Mutt retaliated. " _ that's _ disgusting."

"It's an  _ acquired _ taste."

"no, peanut butter and jelly is an acquired taste. pickled plums are just gross."

"You're so ridiculous."

"you're snobbish and over-critical." He shrugged.

"DO YOU THINK YOU TWO CAN KEEP FROM THROTTLING EACH OTHER FOR TWENTY MINUTES?" Black asked suddenly, looking up from his papers. "I'VE A DEPOSIT TO MAKE AND I DON'T FANCY DRAGGING 'THE MUTT AND HUMAN SHOW' AROUND TOWN."

"Whaaaaat, you're gonna leave me alone with this guy?" You sighed. "Make it thirty minutes so you can bring me good snacks for movie time tonight."

"i second more snacks," Mutt added. "an' i'll need some liquor after being forced t'share her airspace for thirty minutes."

"FINE, FINE, I'LL GET YOU YOUR DIRTY BRIBES, JUST DON'T TEAR THE PLACE APART AND TRY TO BE CIVIL." Black held a threatening finger up at Mutt, who gave an innocent look with his hands in the air. He turned to you, giving you an affectionate cheek pat. "I'LL TRY TO BE QUICK, DEAR."

And then he was gone, the door clicking shut behind him, and Mutt was at your back, hot breath raking down your neck.

"left the sheep alone with the wolf."

"Fancy yourself the Wolf, I assume?" You sighed, turning to him. He was only inches away. "Take back what you said about pickled plums."

"take back what you said about my barbeque sauce," he countered, crossing his arms and giving you a smug smirk. "c'mon, princess, we can play this game all day. i gotta laundry list of insults you could take back if that's gonna be the price of admission."

"Oh, so smooth, its Niagara Falls down there from your sexy, sexy comments," you said blandly. "You should pick up a book sometime and maybe everything you say wouldn't sound so stupid."

He chuckled, raising a browbone at you. "i read plenty, that's how i know how to push your buttons so good, you prude."

"If I'm a prude, you're just a total disaster."

"bitch."

"Slob."

"cunt."

"Cocksucker."

"no, that's you, in approximately...2 minutes."

You squeaked as he swept you up into his arms. "Hey! Put me down, asshole!"

"is that a 'no'?" He asked, voice deep and rich, right in your ear.

"It is not a 'no'," you sighed. "But make it quick, you flea-bitten mongrel, Black is only gonna be gone thirty minutes."

"i'll give you bites," he chuckled.

You shook your head as he shortcutted to his bedroom, and cried out in surprise when he let you tumble freely onto his bare mattress.

"What, you can't even make a bed when you're expecting a lady?" You huffed as he followed you down.

"i would if i expected a lady, but you're no lady, you dirty little human."

You tried to protest but he kissed you fiercely, rough and rude and you kissed him back, hooking your legs around him and pulling him flush against you. He snickered against your mouth, rough hands sliding up your skirt.

"no panties?" He breathed, surprised. "damn, you  _ are _ a dirty girl."

"Laundry day," you excused yourself. "Lucky you."

"fuck, yeah," he groaned as you bit down on his collarbone, a little trick you've picked up over the last few months of hate sex. 

He didn't waste any more time, his fingers teasing your folds, testing and stretching you and you moaned, arching against his touch. He left you wanting for only a moment, to mess with his own clothes, and in a flash he was pressing into you, and you let him fold you practically in half, hands behind your knees.

"too bad yer such a bitch, yer a  _ damn _ fine lay," he huffed, setting a pace that made your head spin just a bit.

"The Mutt calls me a bitch," you laughed, panting as your nails raked up over the back of his ribs. "Who's the fucking dog here?"

"watch that mouth, or i might see fit t'fuck it," he threatened, pulling on your hair to expose your neck. He leaned down, rutting hard into you as his teeth sought his favorite spot, and he bit down, gently enough to not break skin but hard enough to make you cry out as you came, hard, delighted by the rough treatment. "oh, fuck, i'm gonna--"

And he would, soon, but first he would, as always, pick up the pace, slamming into you, thrusting harder into your abused cunt until you cried out in ecstasy again, his fingertips leaving bruises on your hips and your nails leaving dents in his shoulder bones.

You may hate each other, but in those moments of bliss, you can't help but feel like he's the only person who could ever make you feel this good. He's definitely the most giving, and that had surprised you at first. He never came until you had cum at least twice, more if he could help it, and you'd never even gotten that much from your exes that you  _ did _ like.

Maybe that's why it was so easy to keep falling into bed with him, to let his insults rile you up and then roll right off your back. As he came, you both groaned, all the energy of insulting each other washing away, and for a moment, you were struck with an urge.

An urge you gave into, pulling his face to yours and kissing him deeply. He didn't protest, to your surprise, and the genuine softness of the moment was almost overwhelming.

"We can't do this much longer," you said softly.

"hm? an' why's that? still got twenty minutes before the captain comes back to post."

"Because I might be seeing someone soon," you explained. "We're just talking right now, but he asked me on a real date. I think he wants to give it a try."

"a braver man than i, to navigate these waters outside the bedsheets," he chuckled, pulling out with a grunt and sitting up, redoing his belt. "this guy got a name?"

"Cameron," you said, squeezing your thighs and reaching for the bedside table, for the wipes. He beat you to it, and you shuddered as he helped clean you up, tossing the lavender-stained wipes in the trash when he was finished.

He helped you up, and you worked together to re-tuck your shirt, smooth out your skirt, pat down your hair. A ritual that had become necessary when Black began to grow suspicious of your...after-hours activities.

"sounds like a tool," he said. "how long's this one gonna last? a month? ten days?"

"Ha ha, you're a comedian," you grumbled, swatting his hands away. "Maybe I've been a little...wishy-washy lately."

"s'cause all the dudes you date are assholes," he pointed out, following you to the door and blocking your exit. "should probably choose people sho don't treat you like garbage."

"That's hilarious, coming from you," you laughed. "You're worse than all of them."

"no," he said, suddenly serious. "no, i'm actually better than all of them, and that's what concerns me. we play around, we don't get along, but at least when i say something that actually bothers you, i don't say it again in the future. as much as we fight, i respect you--these guys don't, and honestly if I have to listen to you and sans having one more stitch-n-bitch about your boyfriends, i'm gonna go  _ insane _ ."

"So what? Are you offering to be my boyfriend?" You laughed.

Silence filled the air, and his face went from stunned to...well, it looked like he was considering it.

"i mean…" He shrugged. You scoffed, and he stopped you from skirting him to leave the room. "no, but, hear me out, i mean...something else comes along that's better, you can totally go for it, but we have great sex already, now people would just  _ know _ we have great sex."

"There's more to a relationship than sex," you countered. "Are you seriously saying you want to spend actual fucking time with me?"

"if it keeps you away from creeps and creeps away from you, then i'll do it. how about, one date? wine an' dine ya, show you a good time, nothing has to come of it but you'll have a new standard for datin' other cocksuckers out there." He crosses his chest with one finger in an 'x' motion. "i'll be good, for one night, so you know what to look for. promise."

"You're crazy," you said.

"yeah, but i also know exactly what my brother wants your boyfriends to treat you like, an' if i can teach you what to look for, it'll make you both happy, yeah? then we can get back to hate-fucking until you find mr. right." He paused, and you hummed, tapping your foot and squinting disbelievingly at him. He made the 'x' motion again, and gave you A Look. "i've had worse ideas, right?"

You sighed. You can't believe you're doing this, but…

"Fine. One date. It had better be awesome."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Thank you for your interest in these two dumbasses!


	3. Pretending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your fake date isn't so bad, but it does make you think about your exes and how shitty you've been treated until now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter feels a little rushed to me, but I wanted to go back to exploring these characters being assholes to each other and it was very hard to make them play nice haha
> 
> Warnings: Eating Disorders, emotional abuse mentioned

Black had politely ignored the flirting between you and his brother for a while now, assuming the two of you would eventually puzzle it out yourselves.

_That_ never happened.

Instead, what happened was almost infinitely worse. Instead of recognizing your exchanged insults as the veiled flirting it was, the two of you had allowed your hate to fester and explode. He'd long since given up trying to temper it, but quite honestly, the worst thing about the whole mess…

"A DATE? I THOUGHT YOU HATED EACH OTHER," Black chuckled, and he was being facetious, hoping his brother would wax poetic about his "sudden" feelings.

Instead, he got a much weirder confession.

"yeah, see, that's the thing. we definitely hate each other, but as it turns out we're both...flexible, if y'get my drift." Mutt smirked. "gotta say, i've been takin' them bendy legs for a joyride a couple months now, an' i like th'way she handles."

Black stared at him, the words sinking in and--

"WHA--OH, GODS, NO, _NO_ , WAIT, THAT IS _NOT_ WHAT I MEANT WHEN I ASKED YOU TO GET ALONG!" He cried, exasperated.

"i mean, we still don't get along."

"THAT IS! NOT BETTER!" He squeaked. "YOU UNDERSTAND THAT IS NOT BETTER, RIGHT?"

"i dunno, i mean, _i_ like it better," Mutt shrugged, drawing another disgusted and exasperated groan from his brother. "anyway she's gonna date some loser or somethin', an' m'tired of hearing about her losers, so i offered to take 'er on a real date so she could see what she should be looking for in a partner."

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND," Black deadpanned, crossing his arms. "ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU, WHO CAN'T SPEND FIVE MINUTES WITH HER, ARE GOING TO TAKE HER ON A DATE?"

"yep."

"AND SHOW HER WHAT A GOOD BOYFRIEND SHOULD BE LIKE?"

"guess so."

Black chuckled. "AND YOU SEE NOTHING ABOUT THIS SITUATION THAT IS UNUSUAL? NOT A SINGLE THING? YOU'RE CONFIDENT YOU CAN PULL THIS OFF?"

"i can behave for one night," he huffed.

"YES, I SUPPOSE YOU CAN," Black sighed, shaking his head. "YOU ARE BOTH JUST...SO DUMB. GODS. GOOD LUCK, YOU'LL NEED IT."

"thanks, lovely talk," Mutt said sarcastically.

* * *

Mutt wasn't about to let this dumb fake date get to his head. He wouldn't ask you out for a joke, no, but this date was sure to be one, especially if he has to temper his mouth all evening.

So, yeah, he's wearing slacks and a button-up. But the button-up says "fuck you" in fancy curly writing over and over, and his shoes are his usual converse. And of course he couldn't think to abandon his bright yellow bowtie with green polka dots, nor was he willing to ditch his seltzer flower. If he was gonna act a clown, he'd better look the part. You probably weren't even going to change out of your work uniform, so why bother?

"PLEASE TELL ME THAT ISN'T WHAT YOU'RE WEARING," his brother sighed, giving his outfit a once-over. "AT LEAST LOSE THE BOWTIE AND FLOWER."

"why? give ya a _funny_ feeling?" He asked, chuckling at the exaggerated eyeroll he got.

"SHE ALREADY TEXTED ME HER OUTFIT AND YOU'LL FEEL STUPID IF YOU ANSWER THE DOOR IN THAT."

"what, you mean she actually _tried?_ " He scoffed, disbelieving. The idea that you would put even an ounce of effort for him was hard to believe, even when you had sex you were a pillow princess.

Black closed his book as the doorbell rang. "MY BESTIE NEVER DOES ANYTHING HALFWAY. SHE IS A WOMAN OF CLASS."

"i don't agree," he said bluntly, but as his brother got up to answer the door, he did ditch the bowtie and the flower. He supposed even he would look funny wearing that in a nice restaurant.

He wandered over towards the laughter in the doorway.

"Yeah, I know, dumb idea, right?"

"I DON'T KNOW, HE'S HAD _WORSE_ IDEAS." 

"See, that phrase keeps getting me into trouble lately," you laughed. "Someday you'll have to tell me what those worse ideas are."

"I'LL SAVE IT FOR MY BEST MAN SPEECH AT THE WEDDING," Black teased, chuckling as his shoulder moved--Mutt guessed you had probably punched him for that comment. "AH, HERE HE IS, THEN. HAVE FUN ON YOUR DATE, YOU TWO."

He finally moved, and Mutt had a snarky comment at the ready, in retaliation to that wedding bit--

It died on his teeth, the moment he caught sight of you. Stars above, you have a nasty streak but if you aren't the _finest_ thing, on a normal day...but today wasn't a normal day, and you hadn't treated it as such. Your ample curves were graced with a dress he couldn't have cooked up in his wildest dreams--sweetheart neckline with a little bow, a vintage vibe with ¾ sleeves and black lace laid over purple fabric. Are those little skulls woven into the lace pattern? Mercy, and thigh-high stockings, tucked into heeled boots that made him wonder if you were far enough into this hate-fucking that he could ask you to step on him. When you moved to look at him your skirt swayed and he caught sight of garter clips and oh, he was imagining what you had on under there, or what you didn't if he was particularly lucky.

Finally, he dragged his eyelights up to your face, and oh, you'd dolled up with makeup, too. He'd only ever seen your basic look but this was something to see, dramatic winged liner and your lips were purple as his magic, and it was so easy to imagine them wrapped around his--

"You actually wore something nice," you observed, squinting at his shirt. "Ha! Loving the details. I told Black it was a coin toss on whether or not you would take this seriously."

"an' i told you i'd behave for a night," he said finally. "an' you, elvira know you're stealing her wardrobe?"

"Are you aware that's a compliment, to be compared to a sexy goth icon?"

"i am _well_ aware."

"Oh." You pursed your lips, unsure how to answer that, a hint of a blush forming on your cheeks.

"we should go, before sans starts videotaping this encounter," he offered, holding out his arm. You narrowed your eyes at him, but you didn't seem to find any obvious traps, so you took it.

It was a short walk to the restaurant, at least it was with his shortcuts. He took a little delight in the shocked cursing that escaped you every time he pulled you through the void.

"A little warning or I might lose a shoe next time!" You argued, but there was laughter in your voice, and...he liked that, he realized. arguing with you was fun, exhilarating, but making you _laugh_? 

Intoxicating.

"be a damn shame to lose those before y'get a chance to step on me," he hummed, and there was that blush again, and he liked that, too. "place is this way."

You followed him, heeled boots clicking on the sidewalk, and he chuckled at your raised eyebrow when you caught sight of Muffet's bar.

He pulled you in front of him, hand on your lower back to guide you as he leaned down to your ear. "i know the owner, got us a real good table."

You shook your head, ready for whatever absurdity Mutt had planned for you tonight. So far, he'd behaved like he said he would, and that itself was more than expected. He'd even worn slacks and a button-up, and somehow he'd wrangled Muffet into turning a table in the back corner into a classic romantic dinner space, complete with what he called "candles n' junk".

"You did all this for a practice date?" You asked, smirking at him from over your wine glass.

"well, y'know, i hear it's hardta impress the classy broads. gotta glitz it up with napkins made of _actual_ napkin."

You snorted out a laugh at that, and not for the first time you saw him brighten just a tad. "So a few days ago I wasn't a lady, but now I'm a classy broad?"

"i don't make the rules." He shrugged as Muffet bustled over with your orders.

You looked down at your food and...for some reason, all this pomp and circumstance was psyching you out. You'd eaten in front of Mutt before, almost three times a week, and he hadn't breathed a word about your eating since that first time. There's no reason you should hesitate, it smelled good and it looked good and you knew it would be good…

To buy yourself some time you started to push the food around a little, cut up your meat and separate the rice from the peas. It kept your hands busy while you tried to convince yourself to take a bite.

"...wanna try my salmon?"

You blinked out of your stupor, looking up at Mutt in surprise as if you had only just realized he was there. He reiterated his question by holding up a small forkful of the salmon, and when he offered it, it...didn't seem as foreboding as your own plate. You were able to lean in and take the bite, and he fed it to you without complaint, no snark or other comment.

After that you found it easier to eat from your plate. By taking away the responsibility of the first bite, he'd helped you with that moment of weakness, and even if it was accidental, it was nice of him. You found yourself smiling at your plate more than once, just thinking about it.

"y'know, i don't think we've ever gotten this far into a conversation without fighting," he said suddenly, breaking the gentle quiet. "how many snarky comments have you suppressed to make that happen?"

"Five, maybe six. Would have been more if you hadn't worn something decent," you said truthfully. You cocked your head questioningly. "What about you?"

"y'know, m'havin' difficulty findin' anythin' to complain about, actually," he hummed, before leaning over and dumping his wine into your empty glass. "except that maybe i don't drink glorified grape juice."

"Permission to snark?"

"i only said _i_ would behave," he chuckled. " _you_ don't gotta do shit."

"Well," you said slowly, pulling the glass closer to you and taking a sip. "They say wine is a classy choice. I can't expect you to enjoy it, your tastes are simpler than mine and Black's."

"simple can be classy," he countered. "the little black dress, slow dancing in the living room, a kiss before you go off to work. those are classy and those are simple."

"Is that a short list of what I should look for in a date?" You teased, leaning a little closer. "Let's get to the lesson, shall we?"

"eager for the final?"

"Eat me."

"oh, don't worry, it's on the agenda, i promise." He smirked at your blush and the way you pretended to frown. "th'way i see it, there's a few things yer missin' with these losers yer findin'. first is respect--even i respect ya, it's in the way i take int'account yer…"

He waved, and you chuckled. "You can say my Eating Disorder. It won't break me."

He nodded. "that. even how much we hate each other, do i ever purposefully mention yer weight or eating habits since i found out?"

"No," you said softly, a slight smile. "You find other things to insult me about."

He ignored that, chuckling as he continued. "the second thing is class. you'd agree m'not a classy guy--"

"A simple man with simple tastes and a slovenly lifestyle," you agreed.

"--but i did all this for ya because yer a classy lady. no point in slummin' it with jerks who won't put in any effort. got it?"

"I think I'm beginning to," you hummed, resting your elbows on the table.

"third, guy always picks up the check, but doesn't get butthurt if y'ask t'go dutch. he ain't earnin' chivalry points for pumpin' drinks into ya, neither." He leaned in conspiratorily. "only assholes get upset when women exert autonomy, princess, an' it's 'cause they lost their leverage to get some later."

That was...actually really good advice, and you let your surprise show. "...You're really taking this seriously."

"told ya," he said, whipping out a few dollars to leave on the table. "also, good men always tip well an' are nice to waitstaff."

He punctuated that statement by winking at Muffet as she took the check. She responded by smacking him with the check envelope.

"And a better man doesn't _flirt_ with the wait staff, dearie," Muffet chides him, a small smirk on her face as she leaves.

Mutt shrugs, a sorta "I deserved that" face as he gets up. You do the same, and he offers his arm again. This time you take it without hesitation.

"the most important thing," he says as he pulls you along back toward the apartment, "is consent. it should be given enthusiastically from both parties, okay? pretend you don't wanna have sex with me for a minute."

"Bold of you to assume I have to pretend," you giggled.

"pretend," he insisted, coming to a stop in front of his apartment again. You didn't even feel the shortcuts this time. "well, this is my stop. wanna come in for a cup o'coffee?"

"Sure." He looked at you, exasperated, and you giggled. "Uh, I mean, no, I'm tired?"

"ok, maybe next tme," he said. He waited a beat before leaning closer. "it's that easy. if they start tryna cajole y'into comin' inside, tryna convince ya t'stay, leave. understand? "

"What I understand is that you have a very poor view of the men I make company with," you snorted. "Now are we dropping this game and going inside?"

"nah, m'tired."

"Oh," you said, blinking a bit. "Well, okay then."

He looked at you for a long moment, and then chuckled. "...that was a joke."

"Oh!" You giggled. "You were testing me."

"that i was," he laughed, turning toward the door with his keys. He paused. "...you know it's back to usual once we get inside?"

"I would expect nothing less," you said.

Still, he didn't move. "did you have fun tonight?"

You shuffled nervously under his stare. "I mean, yeah. That was the point, right? To show me a good time?"

"you know, you're right. but there's one lesson i haven't gone over yet," he purred, and oh, you knew that look in his eye.

"And what lesson is that?" You giggled as he pulled you closer, one hand on your lower back and the other to your cheek. He pulled you in for a kiss, every bit as passionate as ever, and even though tonight had been an act, it was the best date you'd ever had. And once you were inside, things would go back to usual, and you'd insult each other until you fell into bed, rinse, and repeat.

You'd miss this, though. You're not sure this man exists, the one that Mutt pretended to be and told you about all night.

"chemistry," he muttered, and you gasped as he broke the kiss, your heart pounding in your chest as you gripped his shirt. "all the rest of it's bullshit if you don't fit together, don't you think? otherwise you'd be dating my brother."

"I think your lessons are a bit lopsided," you huffed, looking up at him in suspicion. "It seems like you're trying to paint yourself as the ideal man."

He smirked. "i'd say you've had worse ideas, but i think i've reached my limit on that phrase. and tonight was just…"

"An act. I know," you sighed. "That's the thing, Mutt. Men like this don't exist. You can't have it all. I gave up on trying a long time ago, there's no prince charming or Mr. Right knocking my door down. I mean...look at me."

You gestured to all of you, and he gave you a genuinely confused look. "is...that supposed to indicate a reason a good man doesn't want you? because i am the wrong audience for that, princess, i think you're hot as fuck."

"Yeah, but you also hate me. See? I can't have it all," you pointed out. You pointed at his chest. "Good in bed, thinks I'm attractive physically, but also can't stand me as a person. Or I have Jason from last month, likes me as a person, thinks I'm attractive, and also policed my eating and thinks the moon landing was a hoax. Or why not Todd, who told me all the time that I was lucky I was so funny and nice, because he didn't really find me attractive at all? Or you have Black, who is everything you've said I need and the best friend I could ask for, but somehow, there's nothing there. So thank you for pretending for a night, it was nice, really, but it's fine. I'll take what I can get, even if that means hate-fucking you until I die."

"hey, hey, woah," he cooed, and you realized you were tearing up. You huffed and blinked rapidly, trying to get rid of the tears before they track your makeup down your cheeks. "your mr. right is out there somewhere, you know? don't give up just 'cause you got a couple losers. in the meantime, we dance our dance, okay? an' you've always got sans."

"Thanks," you laughed bitterly, dabbing at the corners of your eyes. "Together you make a whole boyfriend."

"that's the spirit," he jibbed, punching you lightly on the shoulder. "now it's your call, you wanna pretend a little longer or do you wanna come in for coffee and stay for the insults?"

"I think I've had enough pretending for tonight," you sighed. "And thinking of my exes really gave me a whole new wave of rage to work out. I'm ready to go in."

He unlocked the door, smirking at you. "after you, bitch."

You flipped him off, grinning. Pretending was nice, but even this was good in its own way. "Eat me. You promised, after all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor reader has had a rough time of it. Lucky for her she has her boys to take good care of her.


	4. Nothing Goes As Expected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing, not the whole day, has gone as expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working on this one a few days now, it's kind of just a little insert to the story and I'm not sure it does too terribly much to advance it, but i like it so hopefully you do too
> 
> Warnings: Fatphobia, weight issues
> 
> Smut: hate sex (?), p in v, oral, biting, scratching, hickies, leaving marks, couch sex, shoe/foot fetish

Mutt groaned as the doorbell rang. Today was supposed to be his lazy day, he works the rest of the fucking week, who the hell is here?

He dragged himself up from the chair, not bothering to put on a shirt as he wandered over to the door. The doorbell dinged insistently once more, and he rolled his eyelights.

"yeah, yeah, m'here--oh. it's you."

You looked up at him in complete shock, as if you somehow didn't expect him to answer his own damn door. 

Shifting uneasily, you glanced behind him. "...Where's Black?"

"at work," Mutt sighed. "he'll be late tonight. so, run along, then."

He started to make a shooing motion, but then you made a face, and you just…

...started crying. Right there on the front step, crying big, angry, frustrated tears as if you absolutely couldn't hold them in any longer.

"shit," he mumbled, looking around before pulling you into the apartment, latching the door behind you as your covered your face, heaving and sobbing in the foyer. "hey, it's okay, you don't actually have to leave, i was just...being an asshole."

You shook your head, and he hovered nervously, completely unsure how to handle this. If Black came home and found you like this, he'd definitely blame Mutt, and even if he didn't like you all that much it didn't mean he wanted to see you  _ cry. _

"okay, okay, come on, let's...let's sit down and take some deep breaths, okay?" He offered, stiffly helping you over to the couch. You fell into it like a sack of potatoes, very nearly dragging him with you, and after an awkward moment, wavering between trying to help and hiding in the kitchen and calling his brother to handle it, he finally plopped down on the couch beside you.

For a moment, that startled you enough to stop crying, looking up at him. Your makeup was running all down your face, and while that wasn't an unpleasant sight normally when he gets it that way fucking you, it just seemed wrong when it came from tears of sorrow and pain.

He sighed, reaching forward for a Kleenex from the coffee table, offering it to you. "y'done?"

You scoffed, snatching it from him and dabbing uselessly at your face. You made a disgruntled noise when it came away messy with makeup, and he snagged the box from the table and offered it, holding it still as you pulled out a few more, scrubbing at the worst of it.

"Go on, say it," you huffed, voice strained.

"say what?" He asked.

"I don't know. Whatever stupid thing you want to say. Make fun of me for weeping like a baby just because you opened the door." You bunched the tissues up in your hand, making a sour face.

Well, maybe he deserves that a little bit. He'd made fun of you for being upset before, but that was like... _ silly _ upset. 'Upset that someone bought the shoes you wanted before you could buy them' kind of upset. He wouldn't make fun of you for crying if it felt like real tears, and these felt like real tears to him.

"is it something silly yer upset about?" He asked, offering you another tissue.

"I don't know," you sighed, shaking your head. "No. Maybe? Black wouldn't think so."

"then it's... _ probably _ not unjustified. i say probably because my brother once cried over a picture of a cat because it was too cute." That earned a half-hearted chuckle from you. "so, what happened?"

You took a deep breath. "Not really any one thing in particular. It was a shitty day to start with, my stockings have a run in them, my manager yelled at me because a _customer_ yelled at me for giving her warm milk when she insisted on an espresso-free latte, and I was excited to come hang with Black tonight but he's not here, and these stupid girls on my way made fun of my outfit--"

"what? why? what's wrong with your outfit?" He asked, offended  _ for _ you. He liked what you wear, you're hot as hell, and today was no exception despite the tears. A cropped keyhole sweater and a plaid skirt, showing a strip of skin that was driving him wild just thinking about it. Not to even mention those thigh highs, he is a fan for sure of the way you dress.

"They said," you sniffed, wiping at your eyes again. "It's stupid. They said that some clothes just weren't meant for certain body types, and they looked at me and laughed."

You very purposefully didn't look at him. You didn't want him to agree, or make a comment about how it was silly or stupid. Usually you can take whatever he dishes out but you really don't know if you can do that right now.

He was silent, though, so you peeked over…

...oh, wow, he is  _ angry _ , and completely dumbfounded. You'd never seen that kind of look on his face, at least not that extreme. He'd been mad at you quite a bit, dumbfounded by your comments, but never to the extreme you're seeing--he looked like he might break a tooth if he clenches his jaw any harder.

"It's fine, it was just a dumb comment from some girls I don't even know," you said finally, wiping at your eyes one more time. "I should be stronger than this."

"you shouldn't have to be!" He hissed suddenly, making you jump. "me, and sans? we  _ had _ to be strong to survive. we  _ had _ to fight. we  _ had  _ t'gain LV and climb the ladder. everybody down there had to do that because that's what saves your coccyx in the end. but here? up here, with all the resources, all the fuckin' shit anyone could ever need, and they  _ choose _ to be that way? i make fun of you, i insult you, but i don't outright lie, you know that. and that, that is a fucking lie--even if it wasn't on  _ your _ bangin' body, anybody'd be welcome to wear that outfit no matter what because it's clothes. it's just...cloth that covers you. why do they feel the need to comment on it at all, how does that help them? who're these girls that they get to decide what clothes go on what bodies? yer clothes fitcha, don't they? they're the right size? y'like 'em?"

"Yes," you said. "Clearly, I put them on."

"then, they go on your body." He growled, crossing his arms. "everyone up here is so fuckin' petty, they go at each other for stupid shit. what did these girls look like? i wanna catch 'em in an alley an' make 'em see what it's like to really have t'fuckin' survive."

You laughed, a little surprised. "That's inadvisable at best, you Neanderthal. What if you get caught?"

"king's a good friend of mine, call in a fuckin' favor." His leg started bouncing, his eyelights glancing around the room. "y'wanna fuck? this got me all riled up."

You scoffed at him. "Seriously? I look like a Jackson Pollock painting."

"then you're a masterpiece an' my room's a museum," he said, leaning over you. "so let's nail ya to the wall."

"We aren't even fighting," you pointed out as he leaned closer. "You're actually on my side in this."

"okay, whaddya wanna fight about, then? i gotta list of potential subjects. could go with the hot chocolate argument, that's a classic."

"It's still hot chocolate after it goes cold!" You insisted, throwing your hands up in dismay. "The ingredients make it hot chocolate, not the heat!"

"but then isn't it cold chocolate?"

"Listening to you lost me three braincells just now."

"that last one must be pretty lonely, then." His teeth ghosted over the skin of your cheek as you groaned, displeased.

"You're recycling jokes again, dickwad."

"fuck yeah, princess, you tell me off," he hummed. "step on me, beat me, make me beg."

"You're disgusting," you said, discarding your pile of tissues on the table to grip his face. "You are messed up, you know that?"

"is that a no?" He breathed, eyelights flaring, his fingertips hovering over the soft knit of your sweater.

"No, it isn't," you said. "I'm gonna break you in one day, you know. Turn you into a proper simp."

"who says m'not already there?" He chuckled. "i literally keep begging you to step on me. you seem to think m'joking."

"I'd break you, Twink," you scoffed.

"first off, m'not a twink, and y'can't break me that easily," he said, extending a finger. "second, are we gonna banter, or are we gonna banter n'fuck?"

"Yeah, okay, you--"

"have had worse ideas, yeah, i know."

"--Already have only pants on," you corrected him, fingers wrapping gently around his bare bottom rib. "So, we're halfway there, might as well."

"so glad you see it my way," he groaned, leaning in to kiss you. You pulled him in as he did, firmly grasping his ribs and kissing him back, and it was salty and chalky from crying off your makeup. He hummed against your lips, running hands over your body slowly--how could those girls look at you and think you were anything less than amazing in this outfit? He can hardly keep his hands from shaking as he runs them underneath your skirt, over bare thigh, hooking his thumbs in your panties to pull them down. You help him a bit, lifting your hips--

"I should take my boots off--"

"don't you fucking dare," he breathed, carefully maneuvering your panties over the boots and then tossing them somewhere behind him. He ran an appreciative hand over one boot, and the image of you stepping on him was stronger than ever. "you look like murder in these boots, princess."

"Is that a compliment?" You asked, raising a brow at him. "Sincere flattery, even?"

He planted a kiss on your calf, just above the shoe, setting your heel on his shoulder and running his hands up your thigh-high stockings. He could feel the run you were talking about but he doesn't think it does anything but add to the aesthetic. "hell yes it is. you're so fuckin' hot, i don't understan' how you can't see that."

You didn't say anything in response, rolling your eyes, and oh, he wants to wreck you so bad, your skirt is pooling where your thighs meet your hips, and he can just barely see that peach from where he had your leg.

"i'll show you," he purred, reaching down, following the line of your stocking and gripping your other boot, throwing that one up on his other shoulder. You yelped in surprise as he dove down, pressing a slick purple tongue to your wet slit, tasting you, enjoying it.

You shivered as he made quick work of your first orgasm, that cursed tongue of his was so stupidly talented, you hated that he was so good at this. You hate his stupid, smug face and his dumb, clever fingers, you hate all of his tricks and pickup lines and terrible jokes…

...but, you guess you don't hate him that much. After all, you enjoy him as long as it takes to get off, a few times, and you've actually managed to enjoy his company a few times otherwise. Ever since you had started blowing off steam in the sheets together there's been a lot less to complain about on both sides, and there seems to be a kind of mutual understanding. He'd surprised you, after all, by not making fun of you when you were upset. Hell, he was even on your side.

The couch is an awkward place to fuck, but he found a good angle quickly, kneeling beside the couch with your hips pulled to the very edge, sweater and bra pushed up so he could swirl that tongue around your breasts as he pressed into you, and you groaned in appreciation. His cock felt good after a long day of shit luck, and you filed that thought away to deal with later.

"fuck, so tight, princess," he hummed, sitting up a little better to get a better angle, and you opened your legs wide to help as best you could. His hands ran over your body, hungry eyelights raking over you as he thrusted shallowly, slightly deeper each time, the friction driving you wild. "fuuuck, you're so hot, it should be illegal to look this good coming undone."

"Fuck you," you chuckled, and then you gasped at a particularly rough thrust.

"that's funny, i thought y'already were?" He purred.

He kissed you, setting a maddeningly slow pace as he let you adjust to him, quite courteous of him considering you usually fuck hard and fast and dirty. But the extra time, the slow pace, helped you loosen up a bit more, a moan escaping you as a second orgasm approached, slowly, as if beckoned.

He groaned as your fingernails raked over his bones, leaning down with the intent to leave as many hickies and bites as he could before you stopped him--so far his record is four below the collar, he could never get more than one someplace visible.

"Trying to mark me again, mongrel?" You huffed, arching against his mouth, blissfully out of breath.

"somebody oughta," he growled, his voice low and provocative as his teeth grazed dangerously over your skin. "too good in the sack, too easy on th'eyes, to letcha just roam free."

"Yeah, because sex and sex appeal are all that matters," you scoffed. "Besides, I think you might need glasses if you think I'm sexy."

"AND _I THINK_ YOU BOTH SHOULD FIND A BETTER PLACE THAN THE MIDDLE OF THE GODDAMNED LIVING ROOM."

"Oh, fuck!" You squeaked, pressing up against Mutt as Black set his bag down on the chair.

"shit," Mutt agreed, trying not to yeet you across the room in surprise. From where you had buried your face shamefully against him, he tried his best to adjust your clothes. "...sorry, bro, thought y'wouldn't be home until later--"

"I FIGURED, WITH THE DISPLAY YOU'RE PUTTING ON," Black sighed, averting his eyes politely. He turned and began to walk off. "NOW, I AM GOING TO MY ROOM. WHENEVER YOU ARE BOTH DONE CANOODLING, DEAR, PLEASE COME TELL ME WHY YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE BEEN CRYING. AND MUTT?"

He cringed at the accusatory tone. "...yeah?"

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T RUIN THE COUCH. AND FOR YOUR SAKE, I HOPE THE TEARS AREN'T YOUR FAULT."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, good guy Mutt and his awkward ass tryna make everything better even if he thinks it's only to benefit him!  
> Also, poor Black, that is likely more of either of them than he ever wanted to see.
> 
> [Check out this post about Reader's fashion sense](https://msmkcreates.tumblr.com/post/629435478695968768/anyway-heres-some-inspo-pics-i-collected-for)


	5. Hopped Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make Mutt a mean cup of Joe and have to help him work off the energy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what happened here this was supposed to be a chapter about him seeing her being flirted with and recognizing jealousy but nope, this happened instead. It's just a collection of oneshots at this point haha
> 
> Warnings: creepy dude at work, somewhat dubious consent (handled well by characters)
> 
> Smut: Switching, soft Dom, foot/shoe kink, p in v, degradation kink, praise, fem dom, sub Mutt, hate sex (?), begging

"sans' usual."

Mutt handed over the bills and you took them, surprisingly snark-free, but then again you  _ are _ working.

"Nothing for you?" You asked, one brow raised in purest judgement.

He snorted out a laugh. "yeah, don't think so. if i wanted watered down caffiene i would drink lacroix."

"Bet I can make it strong enough for you," you challenged him. "I have tricks."

"oh, i know you do," he hummed, his eyelights darting to the barely-there bruise on your neck, mostly hidden with concealer but verifiable proof that he had you in his bed last night. He was proud of that one, too high to cover with clothes and too low to cover with hair, and oohh, the way you'd screamed in pleasure--

"Hello?" You snapped your fingers impatiently, delicate manicured nails clicking. "Yes or no, Mutt?"

"oh. uh, sure, why not? worth a  _ shot _ ."

You groaned at the pun but gave him the new total, and he forked over the rest of the cash. You called over your shoulder for an "ER 911" and all the baristas' heads swiveled around simultaneously to stare at him in shock. Your pretty purple-painted lips turned up in an amused smirk as you wrote his name slowly on the cup.

"Anything else for you today, sir?" You asked, voice sickly-customer-service sweet.

"nothin' that's on the menu, princess," he chuckled, winking at you. You rolled your eyes, calling to the next customer, and he moved aside to dress the black coffee and wait for his drink.

* * *

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU PUT IN MY BROTHER'S COFFEE?" Black huffed the moment you left the coffee shop. He was waiting for you as is usual on Thursdays, leaning back against his slick black car with his arms crossed and looking tired. "COCAINE? NUCLEAR WASTE?"

"A little wired, is he?" You laughed, pulling your work shirt over your head to reveal the tank top underneath. That shirt always felt stifling, so you made sure to wear something beneath it so you can get out of it as quickly as possible.

"A LITTLE--! DEAR, 'LITTLE' IS NOT AN ADJECTIVE ANYONE WOULD USE TO DESCRIBE MY BROTHER, I THINK YOU WILL AGREE. YES, HE IS WIRED, HE'S BEEN BOUNCING OFF THE FUCKING WALLS ALL GODDAMNED DAY. HE GOT SENT HOME FROM WORK BECAUSE HE BLEW UP SOMETHING."

"He works in a lab, aren't they always blowing things up?"

He moved and opened the passenger side door. "YES, WHICH MAKES IT ESPECIALLY BAD THAT THEY SENT HIM HOME, NOW DOESN'T IT?"

You shrugged and sat in the passenger side, and Black complained the whole way to his apartment about Mutt being jittery, until finally the conversation shifted to his day at work and your day at work. By the time you got there, you'd almost completely forgotten that Mutt was all hopped up on caffiene until Black pulled up, politely opened your door, and then promptly got back in the car and locked the doors.

"What are you doing?" You asked, hands on your hips.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT, YOU FIX IT. I'M SURE THE TWO OF YOU CAN FIND A WAY TO EXPEND SOME OF THIS EXCESS ENERGY, BE IT ARGUING OR FUCKING." He turned the key, music blaring from the speakers. "I'LL STAY HERE UNTIL HE'S CALM AGAIN."

You huffed and rolled your eyes. What a drama queen, it can't be that bad. Whatever, it can't hurt to go argue a bit, and it definitely can't hurt to argue a  _ lot _ until you're sore and sweaty all over. You walked up the steps and knocked on their door, leaning back to wait for him to answer--it always takes him forever.

Well, not today. Your hand had barely been away from the door for half a second when it flew open, and Mutt stood there with too-wide violet eyelights, bones clattering slightly as he twitched.

"what the fuck was in that coffee?" He asked, voice surprisingly calm. "i mean, oof, i think i did all my chores around here twice and some of black's. did you know that my room has a floor? it's carpet. i found it underneath all the clothes."

You chuckled, stepping into the apartment. "It would seem you don't handle your caffiene well."

"i handle caffiene fine. whatever crack you put in my coffee wasn't just fuckin' caffiene," he accused, closing the door behind you. "caffiene doesn't make me hear colors."

"The amount of caffiene in an ER 911 might," you said. "Usually people have to sign a paper saying they won't sue us if they have a heart attack. But you don't have a heart, physically and metaphorically, so."

"you're one t'talk, ya demon."

You feigned offense, one hand dramstically to your chest. "Hey, I have a heart. After all, I'd die for Black, that has to count for something."

"i'd die for him, too, so i'm not sure it counts." A timer went off somewhere, and he straightened. "my cookies!"

"You made cookies?" You asked, disbelieving, as he swept off into the kitchen with less steps than you think he should have. "You, who doesn't even know how to make toast?"

"cookies are easy, baking is science. ever baked cookies in a test tube warmer? i have. came out mushy but ok overall." He was pulling said cookies out as you walked in. "hey, this mornin', is that guy a regular?"

"What guy?" You asked, leaning against the archway.

"th'one that kept askin' when you get off, even though you were duckin' his question? he was behind me in line."

"Oh, Roger." You wrinkled your nose. "Yeah, he comes in every couple of days. He's not so bad if he isn't drunk. Luckily I have a counter between me and him. Why?"

He shrugged as he set the cookies on a cooling rack. Silence reigned for a moment as he stared off into space.

"Mutt?" You asked. He jumped, just slightly, and damn he really did look like he was on drugs. You made a mental note that maybe 9 shots of espresso is too much. "Everything okay?"

He hummed, pensive. Then: "you know i'd die for you, too, right?" Your eyebrows raised, and he held up a hand. "an' kill for you. you can call me if someone's botherin' you."

"Well, duh, just because we hate each other doesn't mean I don't trust you," you snorted. "Black would dust you if you let anything happen to me."

He made a disgruntled noise, running a hand over his skull. "not just...self-preservation. you-preservation. things'd be pretty fuckin' boring without you around. cookie?"

You glanced down at the cookie he was holding, and your initial response was nausea. That had been your initial response a lot lately, with all foods.

He broke it in half, handing one half over to you and eating the other, and that...worked. You couldn't help but wonder if he knows how often he does that, makes eating a little easier on you.

"I guess things do get pretty lively between us from time to time," you agreed. "I'd snatch a bitch's weave for you, too, I guess."

He barked out a laugh, a genuine smile, sockets half closing and aw, when had he gotten cute? You supposed there was still some of that cute little kid Black kept pictures of in his wallet, buried way down deep in there somewhere.

"is that progress? i think sans'd call that progress. hey, eat that."

He pointed at the cookie, and you didn't even realize you hadn't eaten it yet, instead you had been crumbling small pieces off of it, as if crumbling it smaller would make it go away.

"I think...not right now," you said, resignedly. You lean past him and place it instead on the rack with the others. "But I will later. Thanks."

His too-wide eyelights constricted as he narrowed his sockets at you just slightly. But ultimately, he decided against pushing it. "call me next time that guy is there."

"Who?" you asked, confused.

"the guy," he reiterated. "roger."

"Why?" You laughed, turning to start cleaning up the mess Mutt had made making cookie dough. It was automatic to clean this kitchen--Black cooked, you cleaned, and Mutt did dishes on nights you spent together. "He's harmless."

"no, he's not."

You turned to him, but apparently that one wasn't getting an explanation either because he said nothing further.

"Look," you sighed, dropping the mixing bowl into the sink. "We may be fucking occasionally, but that doesn't mean you suddenly get to butt into my life whenever you please. I'm a big girl and I can handle myself. And even if I did need help, who do you think I would call first? You? Or Black?"

He bristled noticeably, grimacing at you. "i was just tryin' t'be nice, y'don't hafta be a fuckin' bitch about it."

"Well, quit acting like I'm some helpless damsel," you huffed, crossing your arms. "I dunno if you noticed, but you aren't my fucking boyfriend."

"yeah, thank fuck," he growled, flipping you off. "i'd prob'ly kill myself."

"That isn't funny," you warned him, and he took a breath. You were sure he was going to press it, but seems experience taught him something after all, because he didn't.

Instead, he made a gruff noise of frustration and turned away from you, stalking into the living room. You watched him over the half wall as he paced, turned, considered, and then continued pacing a few times before finally he strode back in.

"you didn't win," he said sternly. "my head's all fuckin' jumbled because of the joe you poisoned me with, so i can't think of anything good to say, but that doesn't mean y'win."

"If you're speechless, then I definitely won," you sniffed, turning back to the messy kitchen. "Go on, go sulk like you always do when you lose."

"i didn't lose," he seethed behind you. "i'm compromised! i call for a rematch when m'not insane."

"So, rescheduled for never, then," you laughed, putting the flour back in the cupboard.

He made another frustrated noise. "you, you are...you're…"

"Beautiful? Smart? Witty and better than you?" You turned to him with the measuring cups in your hand. "All of the above?"

"i can't fuckin' stand you," he growled, fists clenching and loosening. "you're so fuckin' full of yourself, you know that? the sun doesn't revolve 'round you."

"I think I'd have a lot less issues if I thought the sun revolved around me." You had meant it as a joke but it definitely came across as a little bit too real. You turned back to the sink and put the measuring cups away. "Anyway, maybe I'm full of myself but you're just an asshole. There's nothing wrong with confidence. Even if it's faked."

"i'm only an asshole because you're so fuckin' self-righteous!" He growled, sounding more upset than you'd probably ever heard him. "when i try t'be nice it feels like m'hittin' a brick wall! y'can't take a fuckin' compliment, y'can't accept my help when s'offered, an' every time i think maybe we can get along, y'gotta go an say somethin' t'piss me off again!"

"Well you can't keep your metaphorical nose out of my business!" You countered, dumping a few more dishes into the sink. "Telling me you're there for me is fine, but demanding I fucking  _ report _ to you when someone you've seen comes around me? Do I fucking tell you not to hang around those girls at Muffet's? Do I get all pissy when you're talking to someone else?"

"to be fair,  _ i'm _ not seeing anyone else!"

You threw your hands up in exasperation. "And you aren't fucking  _ seeing me _ either! We're both fucking single!"

"fine!" He huffed.

"Fine!"

"where's sans?!"

"Outside waiting for you to stop being fucking nuts!"

"good!" He didn't bother lowering his voice. "wanna fuck?!"

"That's the best idea you've had all night!" You shouted back, stomping your foot.

"is that a yes?!"

"Yes!"

You squeaked as he crossed the room in two long strides, snatching you up into a hard kiss as you threw your arms around his neck and kissed him back. Your combined balance teetered dangerously, knocking a few things off the counter as you staggered together to regain equilibrium.

"Not here, not getting walked in on again," you demanded, and he scoffed, but spun you around through a shortcut and sat you instead on the desk in his bedroom.

"is that better, your highness?" He teased, roaming fingers playing at the hem of your shirt.

"Yes, squire, I think that will do," you bit back, affecting your voice to sound posh. It earned a chuckle from him, and you shuddered as his hands moved, brushed up your thighs teasingly, and you wished you'd worn a skirt today but it's too late now.

"damn, guess i gotta take these off," he sighed, disappointed, as he drew the zippers down the sides of your boots, removing them one by one. You watched him do the first, an amusing thought dropping through your mind…

Before he could unzip the second one, you pulled it back, settling the arch of the boot on his shoulder. He made a confused noise, until you pushed, and he buckled easily under the pressure, falling heavily into the desk chair with a look of surprise and awe on his face, your foot keeping firm pressure on his shoulder.

"Is this what you wanted?" You asked innocently, digging the heel gently into his shoulder.

For once, he was well and truly speechless, stuttering as his opposite hand fluttered up to your calf, a heated flush overtaking his face quickly. Your eyes wandered down to his sweats, already tented and glowing dimly. Without warning, you drew the boot away, dropping it in his lap, gently pressing against his bulge with an amused look on your face.

"oh, fuck," he breathed, fingertips flying to the armrests of his desk chair and digging in as he strained to press harder against the sole of your boot.

"Interesting," you hummed. "You're really fucked up, you know that?"

He only whined in response, sockets drooping, eyelights hazing with pleasure and...holy shit, is he...dropping into subspace? True, you'd never bothered to take charge at all before so usually it was you who bottomed and you liked it that way, thanks. But you never would have guessed he was a switch, and definitely not such a good one.

"Do you like that?" You asked, voice a song of curiosity. "Do you want me to do it harder?"

"p...please," he gasped, gripping your ankle loosely, angling his hips.

"You're  _ really _ messed up," you chuckled. "Fuckin' disgusting."

Oh.  _ Oh. _ Well, you didn't miss  _ that _ face, that jolt of pleasure and the groan as you insulted him. Perhaps on some level you knew he got off on being insulted, after all it was the base of this whole setup, getting horny after slinging insults at each other. 

As much as you wanted to explore it, though, you hadn't discussed dynamics beforehand, you had no safeword and no idea what his limits are.

You withdrew your foot, and he whined pitiously, scrambling up from the chair to follow when you beckoned him over.

"don't stop," he squeaked, leaning in when you touched his cheekbones gently.

"We haven't discussed any limits with that sort of stuff," you said slowly, looking him right in the lust-hazed sockets. "Do you understand?"

"i don't care, i don't have any," he said quickly. "you can do whatever you want to me. please."

"I _will_ do what I want, and what I want is to have that conversation at a time where you aren't compromised by sub space. Okay?" You held his gaze until he nodded. "Alright. Do you want to continue?"

"yes, fuck, please," he groaned, straining against your grip. You allowed it and he kissed you, softer and more needy than before, a shudder running down his spine.

"Do you want to take a break first?" You asked gently, keeping your hands to his face. "Regain your senses a bit?"

"i'm okay," he said, quiet but sincere. "if  _ you _ don't wanna take charge, though, we can break until m'ready to top."

"I can top," you chuckled. "I just never thought you'd want me to so I didn't. Go wait on the bed for me?"

He hesitated, and you gave him a little push. Almost spurned, he slunk over to the bed, watching you with a very different expression on his face. A tiny bit of wonder mixed with awe, maybe you'd surprised him as much as he'd surprised you.

You thought that having him watch you undress might be awkward, but surprisingly it wasn't so bad. He didn't make any comments except for soft noises of excitement and appreciation, and when you slid into bed with him (actually covered with a sheet this time, you guess the caffiene really did make him clean up) he pulled you in eagerly, and oh, this is different than usual, he's patient and slow and he's shaking just a little bit with want and need.

You're already embarassingly slick, something about the way he's kissing you, as if your tongue is his favorite flavor. You tumbled to the sheets together, and you made quick work of his fly, and he groaned as you ran a hand over his hot magic, heavy and thick in your hand.

"oh, please," he panted as you hovered over it, and you didn't make him wait or beg any longer, instead giving him what he asked for and sinking down, gasping as he filled you. "oh, fuck, yes, please--!"

You shushed him, leaning down for another kiss that he took greedily, gentle hands on your hips as if silently continuing to beg, but not demand.

"Relax, you'll get what you want," you muttered, moving slowly, one thrust, then another, until his pelvis was flush with your body and he whimpered, his head falling back to the pillows as you set an absolutely punishing pace.

"fuck, princess, m'gonna cum too early!" He groaned as you rocked against him. He seemed almost pleading, worried.

"It's fine," you insisted, fingers wrapping around his ribs to anchor you as you kept pace. "I'm gonna make you feel good this time, so just let it go, okay?"

With permission given, he released your hips, freeing you up to move without hindrance, and instead gripped the sheets and the pillow behind him, struggling to mentally keep up with you, his mind clouded with pleasure. He could only look up through half-lidded sockets, and oh, you seemed an angel when he looked up at you like this.

How had he been fucking you for so long (how long? Five months? Six? He can't recall right now) and not known how you'd look riding his cock? How could he not have realized that you'd happily switch? How could he think, with your attitude, that you wouldn't be capable of topping? Well, youre more than capable, and he was quickly approaching the proof of that as you cooed at him once more to just let go.

And he did, embarassed to not make it past the 5 minute mark but blissfully overtaken with fuzzy white pleasure. He could feel you cum with him, and oh, it felt so good, the slight overstimulation, the way you squeezed his shoulders as your perfect fucking body shuddered above him.

And then, oh, and then you told  _ him _ he did good, and you kissed his skull and praised  _ him _ , even though you did all the work. And you kissed him and you kissed him and you kissed him until his magic perked back up, animalistic instinct waking with a snarl to tell you both he wasn't even close to done yet.

You laughed as he flipped you over, reclaiming control, kissing you breathless, and as for the feeling of absolute bliss, affection, and tenderness he'd just felt a moment ago…

...he let it fade, forgotten in favor of the next orgasm.

It's easier that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if I missed any tags  
> By the Gods these two are dense as fuck


	6. Poke It With a Stick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mutt plays the hero and Black is so goddamn tired of waiting around for something to happen. Time for some poking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Black is every reader just fucking looking at this like "really guys?"
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: None that I can think of

You were here to dance.

He knew that, of course, the moment you walked in. Black had a thing, if you were going to go dancing with your friends without him then you would go here, when Mutt was working the bar. It was simple practicality, being his best friend made you a target since he was in the public eye as Captain of the Royal Defense Force and he would worry himself sick if one of them weren't with you in a place where predators may prowl.

Mutt accepted his role as your protector, and you begrudgingly had from the beginning as well. You always did bring your friends to the bar he worked, and sometimes he caught them complaining you never went anywhere else but you still came only here if Black couldn't go with you to another place. Even when Mutt started working at the lab and his work days here went down to one or two nights a week for extra cash, you still only came when he was working. He supposed that was part of why he held onto this job, even though he made plenty at the lab--it would have pressed you to find other options, less safe ones, and he wasn’t about to get that tongue-lashing from Black.

Besides, he would have felt bad, just a little, for taking it away from you. Even though you despised each other there had always been  _ trust, _ if only for Black's sake.

So far he hadn't misplaced that trust. He kept you and your friends' drinks in mind, and nobody had successfully roofied any of you yet. He looked out for drunks and prowlers, no-goods and pickup artists, and he watched for your signs of disinterest or discomfort and found a way to rescue you. It was always met with a brief, grateful smile, and even though he didn't need thanking for doing what was expected of him, it felt pretty good to be a part of making this place a safe space.

Ever since he'd started up this hate-fucking thing, somehow it seemed like the trust was even stronger. You showed up with less friends, kept less of an eye on your drink, danced harder and enjoyed yourself more. You trusted him to look out for you, and that was something that made his soul do funny little flips in his chest if he thought about it too hard.

Tonight you were alone. The ultimate sign that you trusted him to look out for you, you didn't even have a friend as backup, nobody to pretend you were lesbian with to get the fuckos to back off. While he silently mourned the loss of seeing you kiss girls, he didn't mind the way your eyes would occasionally meet his gaze, or the infuriatingly smug smirk you would make when you saw he was still watching.

Funny little flips in his chest again. He should probably see Undyne and see if that's normal.

The only foreseeable problem with you being alone was probably one you hadn't thought of, seeing as low self-esteem seemed to sit deep within your core despite the layers of confidence above it.

It was a sudden increase of interested parties trying to get into your panties. 

"Is that girl a regular? The one in the purple dress?"

Mutt hummed, watching the guy as he pointed over to you. He could lie, but the guy might go over and ask you himself and you won't lie, despite the many times Black has tried to instill in you caution with information that might make it easy to find you again. And if he lied and then you told the truth, the guy would likely tell you what Mutt said and then you'd get all upset about him meddling--and while fighting with you definitely had its perks, it did nothing for him if you went home with somebody else.

"yep. see her almost every day." That wasn't a lie, it was a half-truth--making it seem like you were here almost every day would make it harder for this guy to predict your schedule, and he really does see you almost every day, whether he wants to or not.

"Could you do me a favor and bring her a drink on me?" The guy asked, shelling out a handful of dollars. "Guess I'm gonna try my luck tonight."

Mutt tossed his hand towel over his shoulder and took the payment, turning and filling a glass with soda. Hey, the guy hadn't specified alcohol and if all the eyes on you tonight were gonna buy you drinks he may as well make sure he wasn't gonna have to cart you home in a wheelbarrow.

When he brought the drink to your end of the bar, you gave him a look and he dutifully pointed at the benefactor, earning a chuckle as you sipped it.

"No buzz?" You asked, almost accusing.

"you've had a few already," he teased back. "need you sharp if m'gonna enjoy watchin' ya turn this kid down."

"You seem pretty sure I'll turn him down."

"doesn't seem your type," he said with a shrug.

"Send him over," you said, and he chuckled at your smirk.

Sure enough, the poor guy was stuttering out an apology after just a few minutes. To his dismay you took pity, letting him down gentle, but he supposed the night was young yet and he might get to see a good rejection later.

After that it was basically all night, inquiries about the girl in purple, drinks being sent over, conversations that sometimes almost didn't end in a big fat 'no'. Guy after guy, and how could you think you were anything but beautiful when men were tripping over themselves to get at you? Occasionally you would get up to dance, and Mutt watched with burning eyelights as you danced with strangers. He watched your hips, your hands, your eyes, secretly delighting in how often they met his.

As the night wore on, he stopped getting questions about you. Most of these poor pimply college kids had seen you viciously turn down their friends and were no longer trying. He looked up every now and then to find you talking to someone, a slightly older guy with graying hair, and after the third or fourth time he looked up to see you with him he was beginning to wonder.

You never strung anyone along this long. If you're still talking, then...perhaps you're actually interested? But that was unlikely, this guy didn't seem your type, if you had one. The guys, and occasional girl, he'd seen you take home from here were usually young, wild, party animals that like to dance. Easy for a one-night stand.

This guy looked like maybe he sold insurance for a living. What he was talking about can't be that interesting, because your eyes keep flicking to your phone, but you make no move to break away or reject him so there has to be some reason you're hanging around him. Eventually the two of you made your way to the bar, the man ordered two drinks, and Mutt filled the order, raising a browbone at you.

"Don't go anywhere, gorgeous," the gentleman purred, before taking off towards the bathroom. You smiled politely after him, and the moment he was out of sight you dropped your smile and looked at him, exasperated.

"Dude. Seriously?" You asked, throwing your hands up.

He blinked, irritated at the implied accusation. "what?"

"I've been texting you SOS for the last twenty five minutes. You think I wanted to sit and talk to Mr. Real Estate this whole time?"

Mutt pulled out his phone, curious, and sure enough, a string of texts with increasingly colorful language greeted him. "huh. never could hear this well back here. why didn't y'just turn him down or walk away?"

"Because he's one of my dad's clients and I didn't want to hurt business," you said with a sigh. "But it doesn't extend to making business better if you get my drift. God, I have to think of something before he comes back from the bathroom."

"could just leave."

"And have him after my ass every time he sees and recognizes me? No thanks." You tossed back the drink he'd placed in front of you. "What I wouldn't give to have a boyfriend to use as an excuse right about now."

At that moment, the man returned, and Mutt watched you fake nervous laughter and took in your pleading glances a moment longer. When you handed him your glass to refill, he took it, leaning over the bar and kissing you right on those perfectly painted lips. You squeaked in surprise, and the man stiffened beside you.

"thanks for being so patient with this double-shift, babe," he murmured, just loud enough to be heard as he tucked your hair behind your ear. "promise we can head out as soon as i count my till, alright?"

"Yeah, okay," you said softly, a glimmer of understanding in your eyes. A grin, clearly ready to play, and he felt a tickle of arousal. "You owe me for making me wait, you know."

"oh, darlin', i always owe ya, just fer choosin' me," he hummed. "m'sure i can think of somethin' good t'make up with."

A good enough show to make the man quietly leave with an awkward goodbye, and Mutt chuckled as the man hid from his gaze on the way out.

"how'd i do?" He asked. "not a boyfriend, but a good lifeliiiiiimmmph!"

He flailed slightly in your grasp, having grabbed him by the front of the shirt and hauled him back in for another kiss, and work be damned, he's enjoying it.

"what was that for?" He huffed, smirking as you released him slowly.

“Thanks for being my fake boyfriend,” you hummed, thumbs running over his collar momentarily before you finally let go, allowing him to settle back on his side of the bar. 

A handful of the regulars around the bar were whispering, sending the both of you some knowing looks, and Mutt ignored them, ignored the muttered “it’s about time” he kept hearing and returned to his closing work, slowly, a little dazed, maybe. You were a good kisser, he’ll give you that, and absently he tapped his teeth as you wandered away to dance some more. They came away slightly mauve, your lipstick marking him and he didn’t really mind that, did he?

Funny little flips.

* * *

“I HEARD THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE YOU AND MUTT ARE DATING NOW?”

You gave Black a dark look of unamused silence. “That isn’t even a good joke.”

“THE WHOLE BAR SAW, YOU KISSED AND HE CALLED YOU PET NAMES,” Black prodded, sipping his coffee.

"He was pretending to get a guy off my back. We aren't dating, we will never date, and I don't understand your obsession with pushing us together."

Black hummed. "IF I TELL YOU WHY I LIKE YOU TOGETHER, CAN YOU KEEP IT TO YOURSELF?"

"I mean, yeah, m'not about to go giving him the idea that we're good together or something."

He leaned back in the kitchen chair, searching for the right words.

"MY BROTHER IS...WAS...VERY DIFFICULT TO GAIN A REACTION FROM. I FEEL AS IF HE SIMPLY STOPPED CARING ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING A LONG, LONG TIME AGO." He fiddled with the sleeve of his coffee cup, frowning. "HE WOULD WAKE AT NOON AT THE EARLIEST. HE NEVER CARED MUCH IF HE WAS IN DANGER, HARDLY EVEN FOUGHT BACK IF I DIDN'T GET INVOLVED. EVEN ON THE SURFACE I BEGAN TO WORRY HE WOULD MELD WITH THE COUCH IF I LET HIM ALONE."

"That doesn't really sound like him," you agreed, trying to imagine a world where Mutt didn't react to anything. The steel emotionless mask you conjured in your mind was...unsettling.

"IT ISN'T, ANYMORE. I'M AFRAID IT WAS NORMAL THEN. BUT ONCE I STARTED TO BRING YOU AROUND, HE CHANGED. YOU GOT UNDER HIS PROVERBIAL SKIN IN A WAY NOBODY ELSE HAD." He gave you a knowing look. "YOU SPOKE TO HIM ONCE ABOUT HIS INTERESTS. TRYING TO GET ALONG, FOR MY SAKE. IT ENDED IN AN ARGUMENT."

"He was arguing, not me," you corrected. "I only told him that he would have to prove a few things before I believed him--"

"AND THE VERY NEXT WEEK HE GOT THE JOB AT THE LAB. DRIVEN ENTIRELY BY A NEED TO PROVE SOMETHING TO...WELL, I WON'T REPEAT THE WORDS HE USED TO DESCRIBE YOU." His smile was soft, his teeth somehow seeming less shark-like. "HE WANTED TO BE BETTER, FOR YOU, IN A WAY. EVEN IF HE DIDN'T SEE IT, I DID."

You pursed your lips, unwilling to argue with that but also not wanting to admit you saw what he was saying. "Rivals push each other to be better. Maybe we're just meant to push each other like that."

"NAME A SINGLE ONE OF YOUR SUITORS THAT TREATS YOU WITH AS MUCH CARE AS MY BROTHER. GO ON, I'LL WAIT." He sipped his coffee again, raising a browbone pointedly at you as you floundered for an answer.

"We fight all the time!"

"ABOUT ANYTHING IMPORTANT, OR JUST DUMB SHIT?" He chuckled at your stunned silence. "DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE YOUR FIGHTS DON'T HAVE BITE ANYMORE, LOVE. ARGUING ABOUT HOT CHOCOLATE ISN'T GOING TO BE A DEALBREAKER IN ANY ADULT RELATIONSHIP."

"Hot chocolate is  _ still _ hot chocolate when it goes cold!" You squeaked, face flushing at his continued chuckling.

"AND AT THE END OF THE DAY, INTIMACY IS STILL INTIMACY, EVEN IF IT'S DISGUISED AS CASUAL SEX." He paused, making a face. "NOW, I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO DISCUSS THIS, DEAR, BUT IT SEEMS YOU ARE STILL RESISTING MY WAY OF THINKING. MY BROTHER HAS NEVER, _EVER_ ALLOWED A PARTNER TO TOP HIM, MUCH LESS GET HIM INTO SUBSPACE AND TAKE ACTUAL CONTROL. IF THE CONVERSATION I ACCIDENTALLY OVERHEARD IN THIS KITCHEN THE OTHER DAY IS TO BE BELIEVED, HE WISHES FOR THAT TO HAPPEN WITH YOU. DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH _TRUST_ HE MUST IMPART ON YOU TO ALLOW THAT? HOW MUCH HE MUST _BELIEVE_ YOU WILL NOT HURT HIM?"

You covered your blushing face with a groan, mortified. "It's…we trust each other! That's natural!"

"TRUST, INTIMACY, AND HELPING EACH OTHER BE BETTER, FEEL BETTER, AND WANT BETTER FOR THEMSELVES…" He hummed, grinning at you. "WHY, DEAREST, THAT SOUNDS LIKE ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR A GOOD RELATIONSHIP TO ME."

You sighed, pushing back your chair, getting ready to leave. "This is ridiculous, it's just sex!"

Black sighed, watching you walk out, and calling after you loudly: "KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT, DEAR!"

As you let the door slam behind you, taking the stairs two at a time, you couldn't help but think about what he said, even if you didn't want to believe it. Its true, you enjoy being around Mutt more than you used to, and even before you preferred his company to most of the shitty people this city's dating pool had to offer.

And...he did make you feel pretty, and protected, and trusted. Even when you were arguing, it seemed, especially lately, more like playful banter that led into something steamy. Practically foreplay rather than actual arguing. And last night, he didn't have to do that for you but he did, he did and he was kind about it, and you supposed you'd kissed him after because it had reminded you of how he was on your not-date, reminded you that he can be soft, can be sweet.

Oh, God, are you doing this? Are you actually considering Black's point? Sure, when he explains it that way, and when you look at it objectively, it seems totally obvious. And the sex, oh, other points aside you'd marry him in a heartbeat just to be sure you had a partner who can make you cum.

But that wasn't the only point that made sense.

You...you need a drink.

Then...then maybe you'll find Mutt and ask him straight up what he thinks. After all, as far as boyfriends go, you've had worse ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not quite that italicized oh moment but...close


	7. The Part Where Everything Goes to Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mutt doesn't really do feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things have to fall apart sooner or later.  
> No warnings, really, except that things don't go well

“hey, ‘dyne, got a sec?”  
  
Undyne adjusted her glasses, looking up at Mutt owlishly. “For you? Sure.”  
  
He plopped down in the seat next to her, tapping his chest. “gotta weird little stutter in my soul as of late. was wonderin’ if you’d take a look and tell me if i’m runnin’ at top capacity.”  
  
“Why me? Wouldn’t the medical bay be better?” Undyne asked, raising a brow at him. “Or do you still have--”  
  
“trust issues? always.” He bounced in his chair. “c’mon, i only got ten minutes left in my break, an’ they’re s’posed’ta be testing a new synthetic agent today.”  
  
“Alright, well, let’s see.” She focused heavily on his chest, and he felt the soft poke of a CHECK washing over him. He sat still, selecting “NO ACTION” every time it was his turn as she prodded and poked around. Finally, he felt the magic fade away, and she shrugged at him. “You seem fine, Rus. I mean, when does this weird little stutter happen?”  
  
“all the time,” he sighed, tapping his chest gently. “i guess not here, though. usually at home, or at the bar.”  
  
“Are there any common denominators between home and the bar, or anywhere else you feel it?” She asked, grinning her shark-like grin. “Like, perhaps, a certain human you’ve been smoochin’ lately?”  
  
He paused in his tapping to glare at her, exasperated. “gods, not you too. did sans put you up to this?”  
  
“No, it’s right there in your flavor text,” she pointed out, and he felt a CHECk again as she looked back at his chest. “Papyrus, LV 11, Doesn’t know he’s in love yet.”  
  
“haha, very funny,” he grumbled, standing up and covering his chest, cutting off the CHECK. He was blushing, but he either didn’t notice or didn’t care, because there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, she’s just teasing him as they always do. “you coulda just said you don’t know what’s wrong.”  
  
Undyne sighed as he walked away, embarrassed and totally in denial. There just doesn’t seem to be any getting through to him, even after all these months of talking about you practically non-stop he still didn’t realize the big fat crush he had.  
  
Oh, well. Hopefully he’ll see the light soon.

* * *

“fuck you.”  
  
“No, thank you,” You sniffed, sipping your beer. “You’re late. I was here a whole twenty minutes before you. Black’s pissed.”  
  
“m’not workin’ tonight,” he said, sliding onto the stool beside you.  
  
“Never stopped you from being here when I was before,” you said, turning to him with a smirk that teased more than just your words. “You owe me twenty minutes.”  
  
“thought you said no thanks,” he teased right back, his hand squeezing your thigh surreptitiously. Nobody in the bar even gave either of you a second glance, chatting inches apart at the counter.  
  
“I could be convinced, still," you chuckled. "Depends on how adventurous you're feeling and if you have keys on you."  
  
"princess, if we fuck in the storage room i could get fired," he purred, eyelights raking down your form, taking in your dress and stocking. "not gonna stop me, though. come on."  
  
He grabbed your hand and you followed him with a giggle, around the corner, past the bathrooms, all the way to the cramped store room where he crowded you against the wall, kicking the door shut behind him as he went in for a kiss. You tasted like bourbon, and oh, maybe you still had a little on your tongue because your kiss was getting him drunk, and he wasted no time prepping you for something wild and dirty, pushing your skirt to your hips as your hands fumbled with his belt, and oh--  
  
There's the funny little flips again, the stutter of his soul as your hands brushed over sensitive bone, and Undyne's words rang in his mind.  
  
Papyrus. LV 11. Doesn't know he's in love yet.  
  
He paused, withdrawing, and you gasped in confusion. So beautiful, in any light but the dim light of the store room gave you shadows, made you seem so dangerous and exciting.  
  
"Everything okay?" You asked, your fingertips playing with his lapel and it was...it was intimate, it was meaningful, you were gazing up at him with wanting eyes but there was something…  
  
"...yeah. m'fine. turn around."  
  
You shrugged and obeyed, oh, he likes when you listen like that. He likes when you don't listen, too, when you roll your eyes or mouth off, he likes it, likes all of it.  
  
...He likes you.  
  
"Limited time offer, Mutt," you huffed. "What's the hold up?"  
  
You turned back around, pushing your skirt back down when you saw he was standing there, completely unmoving with wide eyelights.  
  
"You can just say no," you sighed. "Look, I was hoping to be more drunk when I asked this, but your brother thinks we're good for each other and I guess I don't disagree? If we aren't gonna fuck then I think we should talk about that."  
  
"what? why?" He snapped, backing up against the wall as you sat on a pile of sugar bags. "he's wrong, there's nothing to talk about."  
  
"Oh? And why not?" You raised a brow at him. "I dunno if you noticed, but we're having sex practically every day."  
  
"yeah, sex," he said slowly. "it's only sex. we don't need, we've never needed anything else."  
  
"Why do you hate me so much?" You sighed, crossing your arms self-consciously. "You tell me I'm beautiful, you help me when I need you, you offer up your trust, that you'll kill for me, fuck me silly, but the moment anyone calls it anything more than casual suddenly I'm not enough? What's so bad about me that you won't even consider it?"  
  
He swallowed thickly, feeling cornered, feeling blindsided. How had he not seen it? How had he not anticipated these fucking feelings from miles away? He was so careful, so careful, always keeping you at arms length.  
  
"why do you suddenly fucking care?" He hissed, a bit more bite than intended, but luckily you took it in stride (always did, could always take it and dish it right back, he never scared you away even when he tried and wasn't that why he--) and just rolled your eyes like he likes. "no, the deal was, we fuck until you find mr. right. until you get tired of this. this wasn't meant to, i mean, we aren't…"  
  
"Look me in the eyes, Rus," you said quietly, standing, crowding him by the door and looking up at him. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't mean any of it, that you don't want me that way, that I don't mean something to you."  
  
Is he shaking? He is, he realized distantly, he's shaking just slightly, his eyelights bare pinpoints of violet in his sockets. This isn't how this was supposed to go. There's only one option, there's only one answer to that.  
  
He looked in your eyes, he looked in them, and they held a delicate fondness he'd been ignoring for some time now. How long? Too long. He let this go too far. It's better to cut this short now, maybe you'll be mad but you'll be down to fuck again in a few days, a few weeks if you're particularly pissed. Everything will go back to normal and these feelings will go away.  
  
"yeah, i lied," he said, shoving his shaking hands in his pockets. "didn't anyone ever teach ya that guys'll say anything for sex? it was working just fine until about five minutes ago. thanks for fucking up a good thing."  
  
He tried, he tried not to notice the pain that clouded your eyes. He tried not to care, tried not to feel like absolute shit, but how could he ignore it? You took a step back, and your face suddenly held nothing but that blank look, the one you'd had so often when you met, the look of someone who had given up.  
  
"Fine. Then we're done here." You fluffed your skirt and swiped your fingers beneath your eyes, wiping away any possible hint of melting makeup. The picture of unphased, but he knew better, didn't he? "Thanks for reminding me where we stand, Mutt."  
  
"wait--"  
  
It was too late, you had pushed past him and left, slamming the store room door behind you so hard he actually jumped a bit, flinching.  
  
He sighed, leaning his head against the door, hitting it with his closed fist as he remembered your eyes, remembered the fondness, the pain.  
  
"fuck!" He hissed, hitting the door again. "fuck. fuck."

The dry goods didn't answer him, only sat there as dry goods do. But his soul was pounding, aching, and he knew he fucked up.

* * *

"YOU HAVE A LOT OF FUCKING NERVE COMING HOME TONIGHT."

He flinched at his brother's tone, shrank under his stare. He probably should have gone to Undyne's, but a part of him...a part of him had hoped to find you here, talking to his brother, maybe calmed down a bit and seeing some sense.  
  
But it was just Black, and he was pissed. He stood in the doorway, looking up at him with all the vitriol he could muster, and perhaps it was a little bit too reminiscent of the bad old days underground because it weakened him.  
  
"...i fucked up, sans," he said quietly.  
  
Whether he meant with what he said, or catching feelings in the first place, he didn't know. He couldn't be sure.  
  
Black sighed, his posture relaxing slightly. Nothing was getting solved tonight and they both knew that much. He stepped aside, leaving space for Mutt to come in.  
  
"I'LL SAY. GET INSIDE BEFORE YOU CATCH A FUCKING COLD."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh emotional constipation it is


	8. Fuck!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Mutt are both dealing with the aftermath of Catching Feelings, and its not going smoothly on either side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its been a bit but here's the update! I was trying to decide how much angst I wanted and you know, there's no italicized OH moment but thats okay because these two get to have FUCKING HELL ARE YOU KIDDING ME moments instead

"Stop looking at me like that."

Black shrugged and sipped his coffee, leaning against the doorway of your bathroom. "LIKE WHAT?"

"Like you're waiting for me to burst into tears or something," you huffed, lining your eyes with care. "I'm fine."

"OH, YES, YOU'VE LINED YOUR EYES FIFTEEN TIMES, YOU'RE CLEARLY TIP-TOP."

You stopped and sighed. True, you had lined and lined and now you looked a lot less smoky eye and a lot more raccoon. You grabbed your makeup wipes, attempting to salvage it.

Black pushed off from the doorway and strode into the bathroom, putting his coffee down in favor of helping you, wiping the makeup clean off your face. You endured it, let him be the caretaker because maybe you need a little babying right now.

"AHA," he said when he had finished wiping. "THERE YOU ARE. BEAUTIFUL."

"You took it all off," you protested, trying to move back to your makeup bag. He stopped you with two firm, gloved hands on your cheeks.

"I DID. BECAUSE THIS IS THE YOU I WISH TO SEE," he said sweetly. "AND WITHOUT YOUR MASCARA YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO CRY."

"I don't need to cry," you complained, wiggling from his grasp. "What I need is to get dolled up and go get drunk and dance somewhere far away from your brother's usual haunts."

"AND WE WILL, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT," he reassured you, taking your hand and drawing you to sit on the closed toilet. He sat opposite you, on the lip of the tub. "BUT FIRST WE SHOULD TALK, DEAR."

"Yeah, because your last talk did me so many favors," you grumbled.

You didn't miss the guilty look on his face, nor the brief flare of shame. "TO BE PERFECTLY FAIR, I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO RUN OFF AND TRY. I THOUGHT IF YOU WANTED IT YOU WOULD TELL ME FIRST AND I COULD HELP YOU NAVIGATE HIS MANY,  _ MANY _ COMMITMENT AND INTIMACY ISSUES."

"Well, that didn't happen. And he rejected me, and it's fine, I'm fine, can we just go now?" You sighed, frustrated. "It isn't like I'm not used to being rejected."

That look, he knows you so well, he  _ knows _ you, and not for the first time you really wished there was something more than platonic here. It would be much easier that way.

"BUT YOU AREN'T, ARE YOU? NOT REALLY, NOT FROM PEOPLE YOU TRULY LIKE. IT ISN'T AS IF YOU GIVE YOURSELF MUCH OF A CHANCE ANYMORE, IS IT?" He sighed, patting your hand gently. "YOU REJECT EVERYONE FIRST, DON'T YOU? EVEN MUTT, YOU REJECTED EACH OTHER WITH EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING, TRYING TO PUSH AWAY ANYTHING RESEMBLING FLIRTATION, SHOVING DOWN ANYTHING THAT FELT LIKE A TRUE FEELING, PRETENDING NOT TO SEE WHAT EVERYONE ELSE CAN SEE, PLAIN AS DAY."

"Oh, please," you scoffed.

He looked you in the eyes, deep mulberry purple eyelights full of sympathy and love. He was your best friend, he knew you better than you knew yourself and you know that. "YOU HAVE ALWAYS LIKED HIM, DEAR. ALWAYS FOUND HIM FUNNY, ALWAYS ENJOYED BANTERING WITH HIM. YOU ONLY MARKETED IT TO YOURSELF AS HATE BECAUSE THE ALTERNATIVE SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF YOU."

"No, I just…" You trailed off, trying to think of a good argument and coming up dry. There really was no excuse, you didn't really hate Mutt, not in the way you always claimed to. "He annoys the shit out of me. He's snarky, and he's rude, and he's mean."

"CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG. BUT AREN'T THOSE A FEW FEATURES YOU SHARE, DARLING?" He chuckled. It was good-natured, really, he'd always loved your fire and you know that. "JUST BECAUSE HE IS AS PIG-HEADED AS YOU ARE DOESN'T MEAN HE'S BAD."

"He did raise you," you mused, smirking. "So he did something right."

"PRECISELY," Black preened, puffing up like a proud cockatiel. "AND IF I CAME FROM HIS DIRECTION, THERE'S GOLD IN THERE SOMEWHERE, AND YOU HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT. HAVEN'T YOU?"

"Stopped me from shanking him once or twice," you admitted. "And sad as it is, he really does treat me better than most of my boyfriends did. "

"IT ISN'T SAD," Black corrected. "HE CARES ABOUT YOU. IT'S BURIED DEEP BENEATH A FEW DECADES WORTH OF TRAUMA, DRUGS, AND SELF-LOATHING, BUT IT IS THERE, AND JUST BECAUSE HE'S AN EMOTIONAL PORCUPINE AND YOU'RE AN EMOTIONAL TORTOISE DOESN'T MEAN IT CAN'T WORK."

You said nothing for a long moment. Yeah, maybe you tended to curl in on yourself, it was only defense, you'd been hurt a few too many times for your liking. And even when you do tend to open up, a lot of the guys you fall for were only in it for the chase, seeing you as hard to get and therefore interesting, and the moment you let down your guard was the moment they grew bored of you. Or worse, they fetishized you, or only dated you because they thought they were out of your league so it'd be easy to maintain.

But Mutt had never treated you like that. He had never made you feel like you were just a puzzle to be solved. Honestly it seemed he wasn't interested in solving you at all, he took you exactly how you were and spun it back, and maybe two icebergs meeting in the dead of the ocean wasn't the most storybook way to fall in love but you know what?

That's what had happened. You'd fallen for him, quite hard, and you would probably pin it on that first fake date but Black, he's saying it started the first day.

"Fuck," you sighed, voice shaking as tears pricked your eyes. "Then why?? Why would he act like it was nothing when I was offering the tree branch to him?"

"I'M AFRAID I CAN'T ANSWER THAT FOR EITHER OF YOU," Black sighed. "COME, LOVE, LET'S GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM. DO YOU STILL WANT TO DANCE?"

You shook your head. Going dancing to meet new guys didn't seem to appeal anymore.

"ALRIGHT. GET SOME PAJAMAS AND I'LL GET SOME ICE CREAM AND WE CAN WATCH MOVIES TONIGHT."

* * *

It was 4 in the afternoon and Mutt hadn't moved from his bed all day. Work was calling, and Undyne personally, but he knew they'd leave him alone soon enough anyway so why bother answering?

He'd mustered up the courage to CHECK himself this morning. His flavor text read simply "Heartbroken" and he had to agree. What the flavor text didn't capture is the guilt, the shame, the fact that it's all his fault.

Sure, it was tempting to shove it all back down again, where it belonged, but part of the problem with feelings is that they overflow and he is especially terrible at stopping it. That's why, why he'd been so careful and tried so hard not to have them, because he knew, he knew once he had feelings for you that he wouldn't be able to stop. Undyne calls it trust issues, but can't have issues with trust if you don't have any trust to begin with right? But you, he'd let that trust build up, he liked it, he loved it, and even though you were infuriating at times he knew now that he'd loved you a long time ago.

But knowing he trusts you as a friend is not the same as trusting you with his feelings. And therein lies the problem--how can he give you that power over him? Well, problem solved, he didn't give you shit you had just fucking taken it, hadn't you? Just like you took every one of his insults on the chin and spit it back to him with gusto and that smirk. You had power over him from the start, convinced his dumb ass you get up and try harder, get a job at the lab, dress in real clothes in case you came over, learn how to bake so he could offer something when you were over. But rather than a teacher handing out A's for effort, you'd challenged him, held him fast, made him want to reach higher.

And once he was standing at the top of the mountain, he'd looked down and gotten scared of the fall, racing right back down the fucking cliff to where it was safer.

Safer, but not better.

He closed his sockets, curling further into himself. What is he supposed to do now? He didn't deserve to apologize, you needed much more than he could offer, a better mate, a better person. He didn't have enough room in his sheltered soul for someone else, and the idea of opening up to accommodate you was terrifying.

If he says nothing, it's likely things will go back to what passed as normal in a little while. You'd mope and Black would be pissy but eventually the banter and maybe even the sex would be back, and you had seemed only mildly curious, not as in love as he was so maybe it would be fine.

But that door would be closed to him forever. Because a confession later would be meaningless, would get only a laugh, and if his pesky fucking feelings never went away then what would he do then?

If he apologized, if he told the truth, you might forgive him. You might even give him makeup sex. Or you might admit that you had only been curious and then he'd be here but worse, knowing that you didn't love him the way he now knew he desperately loved you.

"fuck!" He growled, punching his poor pillow. 

Why did it have to be you? Why did it have to be you, of all people? Any other chick he might have ghosted but you were his brother's best friend, practically family, eventually you'd be over every day again and he'd have to listen to you laugh, he'd have to see you looking so stunning, he'd have to. And eventually he'd have to see you every morning and evening and hear you sing in the shower because his brother had been looking for a 3 bed house to move you in with them for at least half a year.

So fuck it. He got up with a growl, hunting for something clean to wear. A flannel shirt, yeah that's about par for the course for him, some jeans and maybe he should brush his teeth, try to look a little less wildly unkempt?

Because if he can't escape, and he's going to be heartbroken anyway, then maybe he should at least fucking try.

He's had worse ideas, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That moment when you realize you didn't actually hate that person you were just afraid to love them: "fuck!!"


	9. The Right Direction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody here knows how to handle feelings but fuck it, let's try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: eating disorder/anorexia specifically, self-consciousness, messy emotions, still angst but also tooth rotting fluff so
> 
> It is time

It was just a day in, you decided.

A day to yourself after an evening of crying it out with Black, watching movies and picking at the ice cream he bought you. If he noticed you hadn't taken a bite, he didn't say anything, and when you didn't eat any of the snacks he had made while he was there he only boxed them up silently to save in the fridge. It was likely your roommates would eat them without even bothering to ask, but the thought was there.

Which is why it made it so much worse when you just couldn't eat breakfast. Or lunch. Or anything.

Maybe you should have noticed sooner, that you'd been on a downward spiral with eating. Less and less, more nausea than not, but you had willfully ignored it until today, staring helplessly at the bowl of cereal in front of you and just trying to take one goddamned bite.

But you can't. You just can't. And you're glad nobody is here to watch you have a meltdown over frosted flakes but you're having it nonetheless, and you aren't wearing makeup but you're sure you look a mess anyway. And you're crying, bitter tears of everything that's wrong and it feels a bit like maybe you deserve it, after all it isn't like he would want someone like you, you're the exact opposite of what you assume a literal skeleton would find attractive. Muffet, that's the kind of girl he likes, all lithe limb and long legs.

"hey, uh--"

You startled and the cereal went flying, splashing all over the intruder, and Mutt just stood there and took it, milk dripping down his skull and cornflakes sticking to his clothes, clutching Black's spare keys to your apartment.

"...i deserved that," he sighed, shoulders dropping. "i would have called but i thought, you know, you'd leave if you knew i was comin'."

He wiped away the milk in his sockets and as he did you hurried to wipe the tears from your own eyes, wiping them furiously on the sleeve of your sweatshirt. Of course, of course he would walk in when you were a mess, no makeup, sweatpants, bawling your eyes out over some fucking cereal.

Then you peeked back at him to see him hilariously failing to wipe anything away with skeletal hands, and you sighed, standing and pulling some paper towels from the rack. 

"Hold still, idiot." He did, letting you dab the milk away, grumbling to yourself about the frosted flakes on the floor as you dusted them off of him. "You should probably take your sweatshirt off, you can use my washing machine before it sours."

He hesitated, waiting to see if you would rescind the offer upon realizing it would mean he was stuck here until it dried. When you didn't say anything, he shrugged it off and bundled it up, padding over to put it in the wash as instructed.

It gave you the moment you needed to collect yourself with a sigh, straightening your own sweatshirt and bundling your bedhead into a ponytail that hopefully looked purposefully messy and not "hot mess" messy. You gathered the bowl and brought it over to the sink, inspecting it for cracks.

"anyway--"

You squeaked again, yeeting the poor bowl directly in the goddamn sink.

"Jesus!" You yelped, whirling to face him. "God, you are way too fucking quiet, you know that?"

He was clearly trying to suppress a smile, and for some reason that disarmed you a bit. You sighed and pressed your fingertips to your forehead, feeling lightheaded from all the excitement.

"Why are you here?" You asked him finally. "Not exactly dressed for visitors, as you can see."

"well, a moment ago i was wearing frosted flakes," he said with a shrug. "i, uh, came to apologize, actually. tried to get sans to smooth it over for me but he wouldn't do it, y'know?"

"Yeah, seems like a 'lay in the bed you made' kind of thing, doesn't it?" You asked, crossing your arms self-consciously. "But you don't have to apologize, I overstepped our set-up, not you."

"but that's, i mean, you didn't--" He made a noise of frustration, hands hovering by his head. "look, i know, okay, i know. i reacted like a jackass, i just, i'm kind of bad with feelings?"

"An emotional porcupine."

He paused, chuckling nervously. "...talked to sans, i see."

You shrugged. There isn't much you don't talk to Black about, he knows that.

"a porcupine," he conceded, through gritted teeth. Pacing like he does after the extra strong coffees you make. "prickly at best, you know? not exactly a poster boy for commitment or relationships. there has been a lot in my life that has let me the fuck down, and i mean a lot. there's only three people on this whole fucking planet that i trust completely. literally three. sans, of course, with my life, with everything, and undyne, she's earned it, you have no idea,  _ no idea _ what we have been through together."

You mulled that over for a second. "Who's the third?"

He looked at you with wide sockets, stopping mid-pace. "what?"

"You said three but only named two." Honestly, your money is on either Chara or Asgore.

He chuckled. "it's you, dumbass."

You blinked in surprise, and oh, oh, you weren't fucking expecting that, no, sir, and you felt your face get warm with embarrassment and bashfulness.

He paced a time or two more and stopped in front of you, hands pressed flat together in front of his face as if parsing out his words. 

"that's the thing, yeah? i didn't even realize until the other night, right before you said what you did in the storage room, it hit me, you know? that i  _ trust _ you. i have given myself to you completely, in bed, yeah, which is a feat in and of itself, but...out of it, too. and i am...so,  _ so _ terrified of that, so unbelievably fuckin'  _ scared _ of those feelings." He looked at you, his sockets wide and eyelights tiny pinpricks, reflecting the terror he spoke of. "an' i panicked. an' i, i fucked up so bad. because it blindsided me, it shouldn't have but it did an' i don't, i'm not, m'just not equipped to fucking  _ deal _ with shit i've always packed down like snow, layer after fuckin' layer."

Hesitantly, he reached out, gently gripping your shoulders. You stared up at him, stone still and unwilling to break the monologue for fear that he'll leave it. His eyelights dropped to your shoulders, your arms still wrapped tightly around yourself, defensive, you know he sees it that way.

"and i fucked up so bad that this is all going to hell in a handbasket very quickly so i figured the worst thing that can happen at this point is that y'send me packin', which i assume was already the plan." He swallowed thickly, patting your shoulders in awkward jerky movements. "so, here fuckin' goes, keep your arms n'legs inside the ride at all times, and hold on tightly, yeah?"

You could only raise your brows at him in confusion, but you gave him an awkward laugh for his attempted joke, and he relaxed minutely, a little bit more like the monster you know and  _ now _ know you love.

"Like this?" You offered, bringing your hands up and taking his from your shoulders, squeezing them tightly and he flushed a little, squeezing you right back.

"yeah...no. no. nope." 

He withdrew his hands from yours and backpedaled a few steps, picking up the pacing just a little again, taking deep breaths and mumbling to himself. He paused by the opposite counter, and you watched in curiosity as he worried his hands, leaned this way and that,, and then appeared to shake it out.

Then he turned back to you again, exhaling in a long sigh. "okay. okay, i'm ready. sorry."

You held your hands up again, and he took them, and you cocked your head to observe him better. That's a lot of nerve he's working up to tell you his trust doesn't mean he wants a relationship. But that has to be it, because he knows how you feel so he shouldn't be worried if he was going to give you  _ good  _ news.

"i am. really bad." He said haltingly. "and i mean, i'm really,  _ really _ bad at feelings. i'm also terrible with intimacy, i have daddy issues like you wouldn't believe--"

"Oh, I believe it," you said swiftly, and he chuckled, squeezing your hands.

"heh. i walked right into that. but yeah, daddy issues, trust issues, commitment issues, intimacy issues...swimsuit issues…" He smirked when you laughed at that. "you name it, i probably struggle with it, if it involves other people in any way it is an uphill fucking battle and honestly i'm surprised you've played around with me as long as y'have."

"Well, I don't know if you noticed, but I am  _ also _ a train wreck," you reassured him. "I figured if we keep our weirdness in one place we might bug less people."

"right, and i guess, you know, that isn't a bad idea. more than that, it's...it's a good idea." He looked down at your joined hands. "so, uh, i guess i should just get to the point, yeah?"

"If we wanna be done before dark," you agreed.

He took a deep breath, keeping his eyelights on your hands as he rubbed skeletal thumbs over your knuckles. "i...am pretty sure i'm in love with you. i say pretty sure because i've never  _ been _ in love before so i can't be sure, you know they say it only gets stronger and--well, anyway, i think i love you and that scares the everlovin' shit outta me an' i know it won't be easy and it may not always be fun but now that i feel it i  _ can't _ stop, and i just, very much would like to give it as honest a shot as i can. if, uh, if you want to."

You are ashamed to say that it took you a full agonizing minute to register what he had said, his nervous smile falling slightly as the silence drew on.

Finally, you withdrew one hand…

...and punched him square in the shoulder. He grunted and moved with it confusion on his face, but he didn't take his eyelights off of you.

"Tell me you aren't joking," you said seriously. "Promise me you mean it."

"i swear," he said swiftly, crossing an x over his chest with his now free hand. "i swear, darlin', i can't make this shit up."

"Promise?" You squeaked.

"promise," he said, holding up his pinky finger earnestly, and you took it with yours. "do you...are you gonna kick me out or are we…?"

You squeezed his pinky with yours and let out the relieved sob you'd been holding in. "Me, too. I think, I think I love you, too, and it scares me, I'm so scared, so worried it's not going to...that you'll grow bored of me, I guess?"

"princess, i have claimed many feelings towards you in the past, and boredom was  _ never _ one of them," he said honestly. "so, y'got that going for ya."

There was a long silence, just the two of you standing there, holding pinkies like third graders. He seemed unsure, still, looking at you with concern and a dash of hope, and finally, you laughed.

"Kiss me, you dope!" You giggled, tugging on his pinky with yours.

His whole face lit up, his posture relaxed and oh, he did, he did kiss you, and it was soft and sweet and full of so much gentle, relieved energy. You both groaned and he pulled you closer, and you briefly worried that you were too fleshy, too round, but the way he ran his hands over you as he held you was reverent, soft and worshipful.

After a long moment, he reluctantly pulled away, and you giggled at the little hearts in his sockets.

"that, uh, is that a no, or…?" He teased.

"It's a yes, asshole," you laughed. "I mean, what the hell, we've had worse ideas."

A glimmer of amusement sparkled in his eyelights, and he pulled you close, settling you in his collarbone, and you closed your eyes and enjoyed the moment, because you just know that anytime in the next few hours he's going to figure out you haven't been eating and maybe it'll be your first fight, or maybe it'll just be the minor annoyance of both him and Black hounding you about food as subtly as they can muster, but this version of you at this moment doesn't need to be worried about that.

Instead, you smile faintly as he mutters to you, right into your ear.

"you're my best idea yet, princess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The TECHNICAL end, because we all know I'm terrible at ending stories. Stay tuned for an epilogue!


	10. This is Only the Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An epilogue that is only the beginning of your story. You and Mutt and Black get settled in a new house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have reached the epilogue and I gotta say I'm excited! This is my first "completed" story.  
> I say completed with quotation marks because I'm placing this into a collection called "Re-Hate Series" and I will be expanding on the story of these three through drabbles and oneshots, possibly a sequel, so please subscribe/bookmark the collection if you want to keep up with them!

"You're supposed to lift with your hands, you big show-off."

Black snorted, watching his brother lift boxes into the house with blue magic. He trailed behind you as you followed Mutt into the house, listening to you both bicker about his laziness.

"it isn't lazy, it's thinking--"

"Don't!" You warned.

" _ outside the box _ ."

You and Black groaned at the same time, and Mutt beamed with pride at your combined exasperation. Then he pulled you in, muttering a non-apology and getting a giggle and a kiss anyway, and Black felt something in his soul swell with love and affection at the sight.

Yes, perhaps this house together would mean more chances for him to accidentally walk in on the two of you doing whatever horizontal tango steps you fancy that day, but it's worth it all to see the both of you so happy. He'll start wearing earplugs to bed if it means he gets to see his brother fall deeper in love every time he looks at you, if it means watching you melt beneath the soft brush of Mutt's phalanges over your cheek. Just the thought that he could see more of the gentle intimacy between you two made the whole headache worth it, all those nights worrying that you all might never get here were worth it because here you were. 

His family. Finally all under one roof and if you both squabble and argue still every night, he knows you might go to bed angry but you never fall asleep angry, and you and Mutt always awake in a good mood.

He studies the box in his hands, trying not to just stare openly at the sweet exchange of kisses and insults.  _ Bowls and cups _ , according to your curly handwriting, and so he took it to the kitchen, setting it on the island and taking a moment to enjoy the space. He'd grown so tired of being cramped up in that apartment, this kitchen will suit his gadgets and cooking adventures quite nicely, and as that thought crosses his mind so does the question of if you've eaten today.

He doesn't think you had anything with your coffee, so he wanders back out into the large living room where you are unpacking a box labeled  _ pictures _ .

"DO YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED, DEAR?" He asked gently, and you looked up at him with a bright smile.

"My two best boys and a big-ass house?" You laughed. "Yeah, I'm pretty good. But, you know, pizza couldn't hurt."

He patted your head lightly, a silent praise for asking for food, and maybe you didn't need coddling but he will never be able to break the habit of making sure everyone he loves is fed and cared for, and you don't expect him to.

And that's lovely.

"did i hear my lovely human recommend the 'za?" Mutt asked, voice carrying from the dining room and followed closely by his head appearing from around the corner. "cause i could definitely go for a slice."

Black chuckled, shaking his head.

"PIZZA IT IS, THEN."

* * *

Six hours and two pizzas later, you were on the porch, staring up at the sky, wondering what you did to deserve such a life. It isn't perfect, but it's damn close, and the only thing you even wanted right at this moment was--

You smirked as skeletal arms captured you and Mutt pulled you back against his chest.

"s'this what you were silently summoning so hard?" He teased, kissing your temple. "felt a ringin' in my skull. came to see if those thoughts of me were naughty or nice."

"It's October," you chuckled. "No Christmas jokes yet. Or Christmas music, either."

"part of th'fun is usin' them wildly outta season. kinda like cold--"

"Don't turn this into another hot chocolate argument," you warned him, and he laughed but didn't finish his thought. "I was just thinking that somehow, it's all working out. Yeah?"

"trust has so far not been misplaced, yeah," he agreed. "...love you."

"Sap," you giggled, turning around in his arms to hug him properly. "I love you, too."

He squeezed you back, fingertips gently running through your hair. "still can't believe it, but thanks for always sayin' it."

"I just feel bad for Black, it was like...a  _ year _ of watching this fucking train wreck and even then we still don't really get along."

"i dunno, we get along a little," he chuckled. "we get along especially well when your ankles are--"

You smacked him on the shoulder and he chuckled. "Stop! We have neighbors!"

"hope they like a good show because i plan on christening the fuck outta this house." He grinned at you, hands wandering south, sliding beneath the waistband of your jeans. "an' you gotta head start of about 10 seconds or else m'starting with the porch."

You laughed and pushed him off, obediently skittering off into the house. He raced after you, hopping over boxes and whirling to avoid slamming into Black, who merely held the vase in his hands safely out of the way. Finally he caught you, sweeping you up just as your hands barely brushed the doorknob to your new shared room.

"in the hall it is," he purred, pinning you to the wall with your legs around his waist. You always think you're too heavy for this but he isn't bothered in the slightest, holding you up effortlessly as he leaned in to lick and nip at your neck.

"IT HAD BETTER NOT BE," Black warned, walking past toward his own room.

"yeah, okay, correction, in the bedroom it is," Mutt chuckled, and with a pop of a shortcut you were falling onto your mattress in your new room, delighted in the touches and kisses as he undressed you in a hurry.

"Where's the fire?" You chuckled, and he yelped in surprise as you slid your own hand right into his jeans, cupping his warm magic, stroking the length with a gentle flick of your thumb. "Oh, there it is."

"damn straight, princess, you light me up like a christmas tree."

You rolled your eyes and he could only smirk like he won. "It's October!"

"yeah, but what fun is bedding you without annoying you just a tiny bit?" He hummed, leaning down. You met his kiss with an exasperated sigh, but you know he could feel your smile against his teeth. Slower this time, you helped each other out of your clothes, kissing and touching and oh, it was so nice, this side of him was so nice, and you wondered why you had once been so stubborn.

You groaned together as he pressed into you, and he pulled your hips in. You tipped your head back and he kissed you, bit you, marked you, and you loved every moment of it, that possessiveness could be so endearing, his way of showing you and himself that you are his and he is yours, and you don't mind the marks, so much, anymore. It's nice to feel so wanted, so loved, and he made sure you felt it.

"Awfully vanilla for christening the new place," you teased between kisses.

"slow n'steady wins the race," he hummed against your neck as you strained to meet or quicken his pace. "this is a slow burn love story, princess, don't rush a good thing."

"You're so weird," you huffed, and then you groaned as he picked his pace up just a bit. He sighed and kissed your lips, your jaw, your neck, and the bliss that shook your body came with a soft moan of appreciation and a characteristic curse.

Slow burn, yeah, it does kinda feel that way. But you're glad it was the way it was because you would probably be broken up right now if you'd tried this right off the bat.

Trust made this work. And you trust him.

* * *

"If you miss any more days of work they'll fire you," you protested sleepily as Mutt's gentle touches roused you slightly.

A chuckle rumbled against your back and you shuddered, pressing back against him as he continued tracing circles on your hip. "can't fire me before they've discovered the secrets to my shortcuts."

"Still--"

"took four days already, what's a fifth?" He hummed, kissing the back of your neck, nuzzling gently. "besides, there's still a lotta unpackin' t'be done and the last moving van is comin' today. sans'll be expectin' me t'help."

You smiled, closing your eyes for a few more minutes of shut-eye, just enjoying his weight against you, enjoying how safe you feel here, in his arms, in your shared room, in your new house. It's hard to believe that a few weeks ago you had been convinced he would never love you, and yet here you are, fumbling your way through the honeymoon stage of an actual relationship.

"Try not to get jealous of the moving guys again," you teased. "I don't think we'll be able to get anyone to help us move if you keep breaking fingers."

"it was his wrist, and they deemed it a work-related accident from lifting a heavy box," your boyfriend countered. "an' his job was to move boxes, not spend time hittin' on my girlfriend."

"He was only asking me which bedroom my boxes were going in."

"he was prodding to see if you were sharin' with one of us, tryna figure out if you were single," he pointed out. "but you're not. you're all mine. right?"

You shifted, rolling over to face him. His sockets were heavy with sleep but it didn't hide the slight insecurity in his eyelights as he pulled you in.

"hope y'don't regret throwin' yer lot in with me, yet, princess," he said softly, leaning his forehead to yours.

You kissed him, and he kissed you back, a soft, needy noise escaping him. 

"Never."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you in the oneshots...😊

**Author's Note:**

> [Fanfiction Tumblr](msmkcreates.tumblr.com)   
>  [Original fiction/Monster Love Tumblr](graciedoesart.tumblr.com)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A non-compliance](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26700331) by [SpiffySiffy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiffySiffy/pseuds/SpiffySiffy)




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